


12 Years Later

by ThoseGayBoys (LissMels)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M, Spoilers, ereri, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-01 19:38:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 31,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4032160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissMels/pseuds/ThoseGayBoys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all know that Levi is humanity's strongest, and that he's been through some tough shit. This love story takes place in the modern world, and it shows Levi's emotional and mental struggles and changes as he slowly grows close to Eren - something he had hoped he never would.</p><p>Levi used to work in a kindergarten (and he wasn't a big fan of it). Twelve years later he's a librarian in a high school. Eren Jaeger is a 2nd grade student, and also one of the children he watched in kindergarten. And guess what, Levi somehow ends up having to babysit this brat for five weeks because the kid broke some rules (and by babysitting, I mean Eren has to help Levi clean the library). They can't stand each other at first, but after a while, they somehow get to each other. Brat or no brat, Levi has no idea what an emotional ride awaits him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Levi's New Job

_After today, I'll be done with these brats_ , Levi thought. Outside, five three-year olds were playing in the sand; Eren and Jean had built a sandcastle each, and argued about who's castle was better. Sasha was shoving sand in her mouth, and Armin tried preventing it and telling her that it was not edible. Mikasa sat quietly in the background, watching the two very different conversations closely.

"Levi," came a voice. He turned around and saw Christa looking up at him from behind a desk. "Can you draw me a pony?"

"But if I draw it for you, how will you learn to draw one yourself?"

"But my ones aren't pretty, just look." She held up a piece of paper to reveal a poorly drawn animal.

_Well, she's right about that,_ he thought, but of course, he couldn't say that out loud.

"If you practice enough," said Connie, who sat next to her. "then you'll be just as good as Levi! Right, Levi?" They both looked up at Levi.

"Yes," Levi spoke. "Practice is all it takes." Christa smiled wide, then Levi opened up the window. "Sasha, it's not good to eat sand, and Eren and Jean, break it up already, arguing won't solve a thing." The five children playing in the sand all suddenly had their eyes on the 22-year old.

"My sandcastle is still better," Jean told Eren.

"No it's not!"

"Eren," came Mikasas voice. "Levi told you to stop."

"But I don't like Levi!"

_The feeling is mutual, kid._

"He's not that bad, you just have to follow the rules."

"But _my_ sandcastle is better! Jean is _wrong_!"

"Tch, neither is good," Levi commented quietly, then sat down between Christa, who did her best on drawing a pony, and Connie, who had drawn two dinosaurs.

He honestly felt like this job was all about lying. If he were to speak the truth when around children, he would most likely lose his job. But on the other hand, that wouldn't matter right now, cause this was his last day here. No more crying babies, diaper changes and shit jobs. Sometimes he really regretted getting this job in the first place - it was the opposite of what he wanted to work with. Levi, who was all clean and serious and - well, inpatient - working with  _children._ Children are probably the messiest human beings there is, not to mention how much they scream and argue and refuse to listen. No, this was definitely not a job for Levi.

Connie looked up at him, smiling.

"We're drawing them for you," he said, referring to the drawings. "Because you're not gonna be here anymore, and we don't want you to forget us. They will help you remember!"

"Yeah," Christa continued. "Every time you look at the drawings, you'll think about us!"

_As if I don't have whole stack of those children's drawings at home._  Yes, that was true, he actually kept most of the drawings he had received - some of them were fun to look at. _  
_

He didn't have to respond, cause the two were so busy drawing they barely had time to talk. On a positive note, at least they tried to do something nice for him. Christa and Connie were good children. And Armin too.

Levi looked back out. Mikasa was currently trying to pull Eren away from what looked like wrestling. Eren and Jean seemed to be trying to push each other over. Luckily, Isabel and Farlan were nearby, and they made the little boys stop. Levi could just barely hear what was being said.

"Both your sandcastles look great," Farlan said. "I think you're both winners!"

"But that's no fun!" Jean protested, angrily shifting his gaze between Eren and Isabel.

Levi sighed for himself and rolled his eyes.

_After today, I'm done looking after these brats._

That's what Levi thought, but he had no idea what faith had in store for him.

No idea at all.

*****

**12 Years Later**

"This is Dot Pixis calling from St. Sina Highschool, is this Levi speaking?" Levi had seen this coming for a while. He knew some of the teachers working at that school, and they had told him that the librarian was going to quit.

"Yes?" When he came to think of it, it would most likely be better paid than his current job at the bar. Libraries are quiet too, and students are known to keep their distance. Levi was also quite tired of his current job, and could use some changes. Maybe this was for the better.

Levi had already made his mind up before he got the offer.

"I wanna offer you a job in our school library."


	2. Kindergarten all Over Again

It was one week into the term, and Levi had mostly been left alone in the library — the students did not have proper homework yet. Levi had nothing against that, though; the library was quiet and peaceful, and he could read whenever he felt like it.

"Why would I even need to learn about some guy who died thousands of years ago?"

  
_Well, peace was fun while it lasted,_ Levi thought. He sighed and looked up from the book he was reading.

Three teenagers walked up to his desk; one back-eyed girl, who's raven hair just barely touched her shoulders, a brunette boy, who's eyes were teal green, and a second boy, quite short (from what Levi could tell, he was barely taller than himself), with blond coconut hair and blue eyes.

_Boy is he gonna get picked on for that haircut._

"You're the new librarian, right?" The blond teenager asked. Levi raised an eyebrow.

"Why else would I be sitting here?"

The brunette one laughed weakly and sort of nervously.

"Right," he said. "Well, we need some books about... Uh..."

"Julius Caesar," the blond one finished, seeing his friend struggle. Levi sighed lazily.

"Look in the People section under C. You should find some books there. If not, check the History section."

"Thank you." Levi watched as the three teenagers walked away from his desk. There was something familiar about them, but he could not tell what it was.

At that moment, the historian teacher, Hanji, entered the library. Hanji was probably the teacher Levi felt the closest to, along with the physical education teacher, Erwin (though Levi hated growing close to people).

"Hi, Levi!" She almost shouted this as she walked over to his desk.

"This is a library, Hanji, keep your voice down." Levi put away the book he had been reading. "I assume it was your students bursting in here earlier. Mumbled something about a guy who died thousands of years ago." Levi gestured towards the three teenagers who were now sitting around a table, reading and taking notes.

"Yeah, they're writing about Julius Caesar. The three of them are very enthusiastic."

"Tch, kids are all the same; a bunch of brats."

"Awe but you don't even know them!"

"Who are they anyway? I think I've seen them before."

"Their names are Mikasa, Eren and Armin."

_Mikasa, Eren and Armin..._

"What class are they in?" He didn't look at Hanji while saying this. Levi pulled open a drawer on his desk and found the folder he was looking for.

"2a." He pulled the folder from the drawer and opened it up. Class 2a.

Levi scanned the names on the list. _Marco Bott. Annie Leonhardt. Armin Arlert. Mikasa Ackerman. Eren Jaeger._ That was them, the three teenagers sitting only a few tables away, and Levi knew exactly who they were.

"I used to watch them in kindergarten," Levi informed Hanji.

"Oh? I thought you didn't like children?"

"I don't. It's a long time ago and I needed a job. They needed people so I applied and I got it. Not that I was happy about it."

Levi scanned the rest of the names on the list. Many of them were unfamiliar, but there were four of the remaining names that stood out to him; _Jean Kirsten, Sasha Braus, Connie Springer and Historia Reiss._  


  
_Jean, Sasha, Connie and Christa are in the class too, huh?_ Levi groaned by the thought. _Looks like it's kindergarten all over again, then._  


*****

Levi had learnt a lot about the individual students over time. It was well known that the library was the least popular room in the school, and many went there just for privacy.

It only took Levi a few days to realize Armin had a passion for books. Armin visited the library way more than the average student, with or without his friends (Eren and Mikasa). He seemed to be interested in history and culture, and Levi thought it likely that he was Hanji's honor student.

One Friday, a few more weeks into term, Levi found Armin in the library after school hours. He was reading a book titled _'The Knowledge of Science'._ There was also a notebook and a pen.

"Shouldn't you be going home now, kid?" Levi asked clearly. Armin looked up from the book, startled from the sudden break of silence.

"I-I'm sorry, sir," he responded, sounding distressed. "I'm studying for Monday's test and I can't recall anything we've learnt... I probably won't pass..." He looked desperately at Levi, as if asking for five more minutes.

Levi actually felt sorry for the kid. Armin always tried doing his best. He was very wise, never troublesome, and all he wanted was to be good enough. Levi could tell that he was no different from twelve years earlier. And here he sat, studying as if his life depended on it, just because he didn't feel confident about Monday's test. It was sad how such good people felt so bad about themselves.

"I'm sure you'll do great." Levi almost smiled saying this (which is rare), but the anxiety in Armin's eyes didn't allow it. Armin clearly felt the need to study. "But you know what, I'm gonna let you take the book with you."

At this, Armin's expressions brightened and his lips formed a wide smile.

"Really?" He asked. "You let me take it out of the library?" (And just to be clear, this is a school library, it's not always allowed)

"Just this one time, and you have to give it back as soon as possible."

"I will! Thank you, sir!" Armin put the book and the notebook in his backpack.

"It's Levi." Armin looked back up, confused.

"Huh?"

"Call me Levi."

"So, professor Levi?"

"Yeah, sure." He rolled his eyes while saying this.

Armin soon finished packing and threw his backpack over his shoulder.

"Thanks again, professor Levi," he said before he disappeared through the library door.

Levi was almost surprised of himself. He wanted strict rules and perfect order in the library, yet he felt sure that he'd done the right thing.

  
_Armin is a good kid_ , he told himself. _I wouldn't allow it if it was someone else._  


And so Levi pulled on a pair of white gloves and a face mask, readying himself for some dust cleaning.


	3. Levi's New Assistant

Next Monday, Levi sat peacefully in the library, reading. It was during class, and five students sat in the library. He'd seen them all before, and had managed to learn quite a few student names. At one table sat a short, blonde girl, who Levi recognized as Annie Leonhardt. She had her two guy friends next to her; the quite tall guy called Reiner, and the raven-haired and even taller Bertholt. They appeared to be a gang, though it looked more like a girl and her two body guards.

A few tables away sat two girls; one brown-eyed brunette with freckles - Ymir, Levi recalled - and one very short girl, with blonde hair and blue eyes - Historia Reiss, or as everyone nicknamed her, Christa. Levi had seen them a lot together, and at first he thought they were best friends, but then he'd seen them holding hands and acting all cuddly. If they weren't a couple already, they sure would be soon.

Who would've thought - little Christa turned out to like girls.

All the students seemed to be working peacefully, without any interruption, until sudden yelling roared from the halls.

"HOW DARE YOU SEXUALLY ASSAULT MIKASA!"

"I SAID THE DRESS LOOKED GOOD ON HER!"

"I BET YOU WERE REFERRING TO HER FIGURE!"

"WAS NOT!" Levi was up from his chair in no time, and walked calmly towards the door to see who was causing all the uproar. "YOU GET JEALOUS WAY TOO EASY!"

"THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND MIKASA!" It was Jean Kirsten and Eren Jaeger having an argument, and it looked like it had been going on for quite some time. Some things never change.

"THEN WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!"

"YOU'RE SEXUALLY ASSAULTING MIKASA!" They both looked tired and irritated over the other, but Jean seemed to be winning because Eren also was flushed with anger.

In fact, Eren had just clutched his hand into a fist, and he was bringing it up and back, as if about to strike.

Levi was already moving forward, and he grabbed Eren's arm by the wrist, preventing him from punching the other boy. He had felt the surprisingly high force in the young student's arm, and if Eren had succeeded in punching the other, Jean would definitely be left with a nasty looking injury.

The air turned silent within that moment, and Eren looked around to see the librarian standing there, having caught him in the act. There was a look mixed with defeat and surprise in Eren's eyes.

"Attempted physical attack on another student, Jaeger?" Levi said, calm as always. The two boys remained silent. "Tch. Come with me, brat."

Eren looked taken aback by the librarian's choice of words.

"You can't call me a brat, you're a teacher," Eren protested, but followed Levi.

"I'm a librarian, not a teacher, I call you whatever I want."

"But you still can't--"

"I do whatever I want, so shut up." And Eren actually did shut up. He didn't say another word, just eyed Levi carefully as they walked. Levi could guess why; this was the first time Eren had seen him standing up, and he wasn't exactly tall; Eren was much taller than him.

Levi took Eren to the principal's office, where Pixis (the principal) was doing paperwork. Pixis was a cheerful and usually a rather lazy principal. Rumors had it that he was a drinker. They say he always has something with him wherever he goes, even at work. This wouldn't surprise Levi; after all, Pixis was one of the most loyal visitors at the bar he used to work in. Pixis did his work, though, and incredibly enough he somehow made it look easy to run a school. But then again, he was a lazy principal.

"It's not the first time you show up in here, Eren Jaeger," Pixis said with a wide smile towards the young student. Levi was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.

"If I hadn't stepped in, another kid would stand here with a nosebleed," he claimed. "Jaeger here was just about to punch another student."

"Well then he needs some sort of punishment. I'm sure you have some work for him, Levi, am I right?" Levi sighed.

"You're the principal, punishing Jaeger is your job, not mine."

"But surely you could need some help in the library. You stay after school hours, do you not?" Pixis was still smiling, and it annoyed Levi how satisfied he looked. Eren was not Levi's responibility.

"I don't need help from a brat."

"But it's like you said; Punishing Jaeger is my job, not yours. If it's my decision then it's me punishing him, not you." Sometimes Levi disliked Pixis.

Eren had calmed. His gaze was shifting between the principal and the librarian, obviously just waiting for an announcement. When Levi didn't protest, Pixis looked at Eren.

"You'll be Levi's assistant after school hours, for... let's say five weeks, starting today."

Silence occupied the room, and Eren and Levi's eyes met. The librarian sighed, thinking of how the lazy principal had shoved his problems onto him. How did he even get himself into babysitting a student?

"And that is your decision?" It was Levi who asked this, as annoyed as he was.

"It is, now off you go, both of you." Levi could only guess that they had interrupted Pixis' drinking, and that he was eager to take another swing off his whiskey bottle, or whatever else he had with him, while doing his paperwork.

Eren had left the room before Levi, who was still eyeing the principal.

"I don't like the way you do things," Levi told him. "Easy decisions are not always the right ones. If you want to be respected, you should start doing your fucking job properly." He turned his back against Pixis and started walking towards the door before the principal responded.

"You can't tell me how to do things around here," he claimed. "You've only been here for a couple of weeks." But Levi pretended he hadn't heard.

Eren stood right outside the office door, as if expecting more information from Levi. Once again, they shared a look at one another, and the older man shut the door behind him.

"I expect to see you in the library after school," he said, an irritated glare in his eyes. "Don't be late, brat."

And then, without another word said, Levi made his way back to the library.


	4. Pathetic

 

Sure enough, as soon as the school hours were over, Eren Jaeger showed up in the library to work. Needless to say, neither Eren nor Levi was happy about this.

Levi had given him a pair of white gloves and a face mask - the same brand as he was wearing - and it was not until then Eren realized what his punishment was all about.

"We're _cleaning_?" He asked, staring at Levi.

"Yeah."

"And we're gonna clean _everything_?"

"Yeah, and if you don't do it properly you'll have to do it twice." He could see the annoyance in Eren's eyes, but ignored it. "Get started."

Surprisingly enough, Eren worked hard. Levi had set him to do dust cleaning, and though he didn't admit it, that was because Eren was tall enough to reach the top shelves without having to stand on something.

He worked hard, but apparently, not hard enough. He had to clean the first couple of sections three times before Levi was satisfied with his work.

Minutes turned to hours, and by the end of the day, Eren was both exhausted and annoyed. The library was clean, yet Levi thought Eren's cleaning was a poor piece of work. Of course, Eren wasn't happy when Levi told him he had to clean the last section again.

"It's clean!" Eren burst out. "I've already cleaned it!"

"It's not good enough."

"Then why don't you do it since you're so great at cleaning! You've only done the floor and windows!"

Levi grunted and grabbed a nearby chair, then he placed it next to Eren. He'd had enough of Eren's (in his opinion) low quality cleaning. In his eyes, the student was useless and troublesome. Couldn't do anything right. He didn't even seem to try.

  
_Stupid brat_ , he thought. _Never liked him, never will._  


"You can go home," he informed, with just a tiny hint of annoyance in his voice - he tended to hide his emotions. "I'll finish up." Levi pulled his face mask back up, then climbed up on the chair with a dust cleaner in his right hand. Eren walked away from the section, and Levi heard him moving by the desk.

"By the way," he heard him say. "Armin told me to give you this." He pulled a book out from his backpack and slammed it onto Levi's desk. _'The Knowledge of Science'_ , it said.

And then Eren turned again and left the room, looking about twice as annoyed as Levi did.

*****

The next day, during lunch, Levi talked to Hanji and the physical education teacher, Erwin, about having Eren as an assistant. Of course, it was more complaining from Levi's side than an actual conversation. He thought it was a waste of time to have Eren work in the library - that he wouldn't learn anything from it (except maybe how to clean).

"You sound like an old married couple! Eren is a good boy once you get to know him," is what Hanji had to say about it. Of course, this was no surprise. Hanji loved most of her students, especially the ones who stood out. She always had faith in them, and Eren was among her favorites. Of course, she had to treat them all equally, but secretly liked some better than others.

"He's one annoying piece of shit, that's what he is." Levi took a sip off his tea cup after expressing this statement. "I stop a fight and now I'm stuck with a brat for five weeks. I might as well tell him he's free to go."

"Don't give up on him," Erwin said. "He was about to use violence against another student; he needs his punishment. You know Pixis won't bother to change his mind, so you might as well just put up with this." A little grunt was Levi's response to this.

Erwin was right; If Pixis wasn't going to do anything about it, then Levi had to lead Eren's punishment himself. Eren must have hated it at least as much as Levi did.

"I bet you actually like him," Hanji stated. At this, Levi and Erwin gave her empty looks.

"Why would you think that?" Hanji remained silent, until her gaze landed on Levi.

"I'm just saying that five weeks is a long time, and you don't think you'll hate each other all that time." Hanji smirked after saying this, then Erwin's face snapped into a look of knowing. He leaned in closer and lowered his voice.

"You don't mean to say that you look at them as... a future couple, do you?" Levi shot the woman a piercing glance.

"For fuck sake, Hanji, he's a 15 year old brat," he said.

"I didn't say that, but of course, you're my friend and I would have nothing against it!"

"Tch, kiss my ass." Levi took a final sip of tea, then he left the conversation without another word.

He wasn't surprised by Hanji's way of thinking. Hanji was what Levi would call nuts; odd things would often come out of her mouth, and she had some bizarre hobbies and interests that made no sense to others. Levi had hoped he could knock some sense into her head, but nothing he ever said would make Hanji saner. However, Levi still looked at her as a great friend, and because of her being so odd, she would support him _no matter_ what it was.

But this? This was something new. Levi wondered where Hanji got this bizarre theory from.

He didn't bring this thought back up to himself until he passed the younger boy on the way back to the library. There was a short moment of eye contact when passing one another, none looking too satisfied to see the other.

Levi played with the thought. After all, he was the only one who had access to his head. He couldn't imagine being in a relationship with the 15-year old, though. Hanji's idea of them as a couple was beyond wild.

Levi kept walking, and he didn't look back.

_Me and Jaeger? That's pathetic._


	5. The World is a Cruel Place

 

Day 2. Eren and Levi still didn't get along - not at all. This day was no easier than the previous one.

Levi had sent him home early today, because he hadn't had the nerves to put up with a bragging student when he could easily clean by himself.

"Get the fuck out of here," he had said. When Eren got annoyed, so did Levi. His mood seemed contagious.

Levi finished cleaning about half an hour after Eren had left, then he headed home. It was already getting dark, though it was only 8 o'clock. It was sort of chilly, too.

Levi exited the schoolyard, took left, and followed the street. It was unusually quiet; there were three middle-aged women talking on the other side of the street, and a car drove by once in a while. Other than that, the streets looked abandoned.

He was walking past the skate park when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. Turning his head, he saw what appeared to be a fight. It was five people; four of them pushing the fifth one around like he was a dummy. There was yelling, too, but he couldn't make out the words.

Levi hated how some people wanted to hurt others for having done nothing at all. People who did stupid things just for reputation. Levi had nothing against fighting - he knew exactly when it was right to use violence, and he always had a reason for it - but when the innocent had to suffer, that's what Levi hated. What a disgrace the world had become.

Levi crossed the street, not taking his eyes off the fight before him. The closer he got, the easier it was to see the people.

"Gettin' angry, are we?" It was one of the four men speaking as they pushed the much younger boy to the ground and laughed.

"STOP IT," the boy yelled, and the voice struck like lightning through Levi's head as one man kicked the boy's stomach. Eren Jaeger.

  
_Of course it had to be him_ , Levi thought. _That shitty little brat._  


"Hey," Levi spoke, and all eyes snapped onto him. "He told you to stop." He stood with his arms crossed, waiting for response. The men just laughed, then they approached him. They were all a head and a half taller than Levi, and of course, this was something they were planning to use against him.

"And what're you gonna do 'bout it, _Shorty_?" The man poked Levi's chest while saying this.

"I suggest you leave before things get ugly."

"Things got ugly when yo' face showed up here." The men cracked their knuckles, as if preparing to fight him, and Levi just sighed and rolled his eyes.

He swung his fist straight across one's face and kicked his stomach so hard the man fell to the ground. The three other men were on him in no time, but that didn't concern Levi at all. He dodged a punch from a second man, brought his arm back on his back, and kicked him into his two friends.

They were up in no time, and one guy attempted to punch him again. Levi dodged it, grabbed the man's shirt, and slammed him back to the ground, then he kicked him like they had kicked their victim.

Another man snuck up on him from behind and held his arms still on his back. Of course, Levi used this as an adventage; as soon as the third man was about to strike, Levi jumped up, using the man behind him as support, and kicked the striker's head. He then kicked his leg up behind him, kicking his captor right in the groin. Grabbing his arm, he flipped the man over, slamming him, too, to the ground.

The fourth man had nearly punched him, but Levi grabbed his fist only centimeters before him, and he brought his head down and kneed him in the face. The last man then fell, and all four were groaning in pain.

  
_Tch, idiots_ , he thought. Eren glared at him, eyes wide in shock after the scene he had just witnessed. There was a wound on his forehead, and blood were slowly sliding down his face.

"You okay, Jaeger?" Eren's eyes got watery, and not until then did he break eye contact. It must have been a traumatic happening for him, not being able to defend himself from the much older men.

He turned around and watched the men stumble to get on their feet and run off.

"What did they do?" Levi turned back again. "You're bleeding."

"They wanted my money," Eren said at last. "Hit me in the head with a rock when I told them no," He paused, still not looking up at Levi. His hands were shaking. "I'm okay." A teardrop dripped off his chin and hit the ground beneath him, then Eren got to his feet.

The boy Levi had disliked earlier, was gone. Instead of useless, he now seemed rather helpless, and the opposite of what Levi had thought of him.

"Shouldn't you be going home?" Eren shook his head.

"I missed my bus and they took my money. It's too far to walk." The blood on his forehead had found its way down Eren's nose and the side of his head. There was blood in his hair too.

Levi knew what he had to do. Not that he liked it. He turned away and started walking.

"Come on, I live just around the corner."

"Wait, you're letting me stay in your place?" Eren quickly catched up with Levi.

"You need medical attention. By the look of that wound, you're lucky to be concious." It was quiet for a short while, then Eren broke the silence.

"Levi?" He started. "Could you teach me how to fight like that?" Levi raised an eyebrow.

"Why? From what I've seen, you start fights way too fucking easy."

"I don't want the people I love to get hurt." Levi stopped walking and looked at Eren. That sentence had struck a cord in Levi's head. It was all so familiar to him. Eren looked at the ground. "The world is a cruel place," he continued weakly. "People get killed, abused, kidnapped... I don't want that to happen to people around me... They haven't done anything to deserve it." Levi could see that there was a reasoning for his statement, but he didn't push him. He himself knew far too much about the cruelity of the world. The innocent didn't deserve to suffer, and if Eren was willing to fight for what was right, then Levi was willing to teach him.

"You know what, brat? Maybe I will."


	6. Bad Memories

 

Shortly after entering his apartment, Levi asked Eren to get cleaned up. His shirt had blood stains on it, so Levi offered to wash it for him, and gave him an oversized sweather to wear in the meantime.

Eren's wound didn't look as bad after it was cleared up. He put a band aid over it as soon as he was done. Eren was sitting on a bar stool by the kitchen counters, watching Levi pour tea into two separate cups.

"So," Levi spoke, not taking his eyes off the tea. "I suppose you're gonna call your parents and have them pick you up?" Eren remained silent for a few more seconds, his lips parted, as if he didn't know what to say.

"No," he then said, hanging his head.

"What do you mean _'no'_?" Levi put the tea bags on the cupboard, then turned to Eren, arms folded. "You're not spending the night here, if that's what you think." Eren didn't answer. Nor did he look up at the man in front of him. Levi eyed him carefully. "If you're not calling then then I will."

"You can't."

"Yes I can, you brat, and I'm sure Kalura will--" Eren's head snapped up.

"How do you know my mom's name?" He said this loud and clearly, eyes focused upon Levi's.

"That doesn't matter." Levi put his hand on his cup and took a sip. "Why can't I call her?"

Eren looked at his tea, obviously to break eye contact, and tears escaped his eyes.

  
_The kid cries more than he did as a 3-year old_ , was Levi's thoughts.

"Cause she's not... she's . _._ she's _dead_..." But after hearing those words, Levi felt his heart jump.

"And your dad?"

"I haven't seen him since the day my mom died." Eren took a sip of tea, having calmed himself down, seemingly.

  
_Shit, maybe he's not just a crybaby after all._ This was something Levi simply hadn't considered until now.

"Where do you live?" Levi now felt more sorry for Eren, knowing that he had no parents to return home to.

"I share a place with Mikasa and Armin, quite far from here." Levi observed him taking sips off his cup. There wasn't much he could do, was there?

"Tch."

Levi put down his cup of tea, walked into his bedroom, and turned on the lights. From the buttom shelf of his closet, he pulled out a folded blanket, which he lay on the couch in his living room.

"You're sleeping on the couch, brat," he informed Eren, who gave the older man a surprised look.

"I thought you didn't want me here," he spoke in response.

"You're not giving me much of a choice." Eren's lips formed a wide smile.

"Thank you, Levi," he said happily.

It was a rather odd evening. Levi wasn't used to having company in his apartment, and now he had a teenager sitting next to him while watching television. Nor did they know each other well enough to have a proper conversation.

"How did you know my mom's name?" was one of the few things Eren had asked during that evening. For some reason, Levi didn't want him to know he watched him in kindergarten. Maybe he just liked appearing younger than he actually was.

"How old do you think I am?"was Levi's response. This was something he wanted to know. Levi was a 34-year old man, but he looked much younger than that.

"I don't know... Twenty-three? Twenty-four? Something like that?" If he only knew how wrong he was. If Eren had known Levi's real age, would he treat him differently? That was the question stuck in the back of Levi's head. Maybe his age had an effect on the younger boy.

"Yeah, sure," and then he got up from the couch.

"Was I right?" As Levi walked towards his bedroom, he double checked his surroundings to see if anything was out of order. Of course, his apartment looked as clean and proper as always. Cleaning was one of Levi's passions, because it calmed him down. That was why he cleaned the library every day, even though it wasn't even dirty.

"My age is none of your business," Levi answered, having decided to keep his age a secret, at least for now. "I'm going to sleep. So should you."

To his great surprise, he heard Eren shuffling around right away, and only seconds later, the television was turned off. This was the first time Eren had done as Levi told him to. Not even in kindergarten did he do as he was told. Yet there he sat, in Levi's apartment, having acted so quickly you'd think Levi was the boss of him.

Then Levi shut the door behind him.

*****

_"Big bro," a cheerful voice said. Slowly, Levi's vision cleared, and he made out a young, redheaded girl standing before him, as familiar as always. "We can do it."_

_"Yeah," said another familiar voice. The taller boy was standing next to the cheerful redhead, arms crossed and a smile across his face. "You have to trust us."_

_"Isabel... Farlan..." Levi reached towards them, even through he knew this was just another dream. Deep down, he was hoping that it wasn't just a dream, that it was really them._

_"Trust us," Isabel repeated, and her voice echoed through Levi's head as he tried to reach his friends. But just before his hand touched the fabric that were Farlan's clothing, the dream faded into nothingness._

Levi was left looking at the ceiling, hearing his alarm ringing loudly next to him. He lay still for a few more seconds before he slammed his hand onto the alarm clock, silencing it. He felt numb. Turning his head, he saw that it was 7 am, and with a sigh, he sat up. This was just how life was; he had to move on, had to _forget_. Problem was, Levi couldn't do that. He couldn't help but feel like it was his fault, his responsibility. Maybe it was him who had messed up.

Levi was used to that numb feeling by now. He had taught himself to not get attached to people, because he was afraid of losing them. Life would be much different if he still had his two best friends with him.


	7. Age is Just a Number

"Good morning, Professor Levi!" This was the first thing Levi met as he left his bedroom; a smiling Eren.

Levi wasn't in the mood for this, having images from his dream still stuck in the back of his head. That, or he just wasn't a morning person.

"Good morning my ass," he grunted. "It's 7 am, how can you be so cheerful?"

"I dunno, how can you be so dreadful?" There it was; the annoying little kid Levi knew as Eren Jaeger.

Levi ignored the comment and started readying the breakfast and tea. Eren actually offered to help, but Levi would rather do it by himself. It was a weird change, having to make breakfast for two, but it was nice not eating alone for once. He had forgotten how nice it felt having someone to eat with.

After breakfast, the two of them were off to school. Eren was very positive along the way, something Levi found odd. Normally Eren wouldn't say a word, would he? It was weird how his attitude had changed so quickly; he was so cheerful all of a sudden. Maybe he was only irritated when he had to do chores. On the other hand, they didn't really know each other that well. It was 12 years since Levi had watched him in kindergarten - a lot changes in 12 years - Eren was not the same kid as he was back then. Levi couldn't tell what was normal and not about Eren.

"Eren," Levi said at last, and realized that this was the first time he had called him by his name. They both stopped, and the teenager looked at him in response. "Why are you suddenly being so positive around me?" It took Eren a couple of seconds to answer the man's question.

"Well... I thought you were nothing but a boring librarian, until yesterday, when I learnt otherwise," he said. "You always know what you're doing, and even when your actions seem wrong, you make them right. You took me in, just like that, even though you dislike me. I respect you for that-"

_Took me 12 years to earn his respect._

"-even though I don't know you that well. There are probably many things you're not telling me - there has to be a reason you can fight like that - but that's okay."

  
_There is, indeed_. But this thought made Levi remember, and his heart sunk. As a reaction, Levi hung his head, as if to hide his emotions.

"What's wrong?" Of course Eren had noticed.

"Nothing." He started walking again, and looked back up in the process. "Let's keep going."

Neither of them spoke for the rest of the walk. They were left with nothing but the sound of the cars and people around them. It wasn't a long walk - they had reached the schoolyard within minutes - so it was fine.

"Eren!" Mikasa and Armin approached the two of them - or Eren at least. "Where were you last night," the girl demanded. "You didn't pick up your phone!" Eren nicked his phone out of his jacket pocket and checked it - six missed calls.

"Sorry, I forgot telling you; I bumped into some less friendly men last night and ended up having to stay in Levi's place."

"What did they do?" Mikasa had barely given him time to finish his sentence. She had put her hands onto Eren's shoulders, focusing her eyes on his.

"You don't have to look after me," Eren replied harshly. "I'm not a baby!" Levi left the group at this point, and noticed an odd look in Mikasa's eyes. She was eyeing him with suspicion. Levi knew by now that Mikasa was extremely protective; she must've thought Levi could have done something different to protect Eren.

_It's not my fault he got himself beaten up._

Hanji was standing just inside the main entrance, a wide smile across her lips.

"What," Levi grunted.

"You were walking together," she pointed out. "Guess you don't hate each other anymore, huh?"

"He was beat up last night and I had to save his ass."

"Sooo....?"

"So I beat the bastards up and let the kid stay over."

"Awww, you really do care for each other!" Hanji was holding her hands on her cheeks, still smiling wide. "Wait, did you sleep together too?"

"Shut up, Hanji, nothing happened." He tried to walk away from her, but she followed.

"C'mon, you have to have SOME feelings for him!"

"What if I don't?"

"Awe, c'mon! You have to admit you'd be cute together!" Levi just kept walking.

"He's just a kid."

"Age is just a number, you can't decide who to fall in love with!"

"And you can't decide who _I'm_ gonna fall in love with."

"But-"

"Leave me alone, Hanji, you've said enough." And then Levi shut the library door behind him, separating himself from the historian teacher.

Peace at last.

Levi sat down at his desk, and he couldn't help but think of Hanji's words. She had some good points, he had to admit. However, having Eren as a boyfriend still seemed unrealistic to Levi. He was way out of his league, and Levi didn't want to get attached anyway.

*****

Once again, Eren met in the library after school hours. Only this time, he brought a positive attitude.

"If you clean properly, I'm gonna show you some self defense techniques," Levi had told him - and it helped.

Never had Eren cleaned that well; by the end of the day he had only cleaned two sections twice. He had either decided to do it properly, or he was just excited to learn self defense. Anyhow, the cleaning took about half the time this day, and around six o'clock, the library was clean.

"Okay," Levi said while taking off his face mask and gloves. He then turned to face Eren. "I want you to try and hit me."

"What? Why?"

"Pretend that I'm attacking you. Where would you hit?"

"I dunno, the face, probably."

"Wrong." Levi crossed his arms. "If someone is attacking you, there are certain spots you should aim for. Chin, knee, solar plexus.. If it's a guy, his junk.. If the attacker comes from behind, elbow the fucker's face. That's step one." Eren just stared at the man. "So I want you to try."

"But what if I hurt you?" Levi scoffed at this.

"Tch, you're not gonna hurt me; if I can handle four grown men then I can handle you."

Eren nodded, then he swung his fist towards Levi's upper stomach, or the solar plexus, as it's called. Levi grabbed the boy's wrist, rotated it, and brought it to his back.

"What do you do now?" Levi knew exactly what Eren was about to do.

The boy ducked, then shot back up again, attempting to head the man's chin. Levi, knowing the boy was gonna do this, dodged the attempt.

And this type of training went on for a long time. Levi told Eren to try again and again, until he would be able to knock the breath out of his opponent. He was not bad at all, in Levi's opinion, but of course, he was not yet good _enough_.

They finished the training just before eight o'clock, so that Eren could catch his bus. Levi had just put away the cleaning supplies, and looked around in the library to double check the cleanliness. He looked over the floor, where he had only moments before stood with Eren and taught him techniques for self defense. The student had had such will, such focus. It was as if fighting was his dream.

Levi thought of how Eren had fought, and how hard he'd tried. His encouragement was inspiring. Levi knew by now that Eren was a hard working boy.

  
_Not bad_ , he thought, before he shut the library door and headed home.


	8. Pounding Heart

Days turned to weeks, and Eren made constant improvements. His respect for Levi hadn't decreased at all, and this caused them to get along quite well. Eren wasn't that bad, after all. Ever since Levi had gained the student's respect, there had been no arguments or discussions between the two of them.

Eren's cleaning had gotten better, too. Who knows, maybe he had caught the neat trait from Levi after the three weeks they'd been cleaning the library together.

They had reached the stage of their training where they would duel - of course, Levi went easy on the boy. He would dodge Eren's hits and kicks and allow him to dodge his. Once in a while Eren would fail to do this. This day, for example, Levi accidentally hit Eren, and it resulted in him losing his balance and falling over. Levi sighed and watched as the boy sat up on the floor.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," Eren said, and pushed himself to his feet. Levi found it impressive how he never gave up. Even when he was knocked over, he got back up, refusing to call surrender. Every single time would he get back up, even though he knew he had no chance. The boy had a strong will, and that was something Levi admired by him.

"Let's take a break," Levi suggested, and leaned against his desk.

"Levi, I've been thinking of something." Eren sat onto the desk, next to where Levi stood. "Why do you clean the library every day? I mean, the floor I get - people walk in with shoes - but dust cleaning? The library doesn't get dusty after one day, yet you make me dust clean properly every day... Why is that?"

It hadn't even occurred to Levi until now. Every day after school hours, he would be cleaning a clean library. He preferred clean surroundings, but if the surroundings were already clean, why would he still clean them?

"I've never really thought of it," Levi answered. "I guess it's just a distraction."

"A distraction? From what?" Levi thought about this, too. It had to be a distraction of some kind, to avoid overthinking. Levi had a very dark past, and it was not something he liked to talk or think about. He constantly tried to forget, and live in the present, but this seemed nearly impossible.

"Well, we all have stories... My story is one I'd rather forget about. I realize I have to move on, and to do that I have to stop overthinking. I'd rather worry about how my surroundings look than what happened in my past." There was a curious look in Eren's eyes.

"What happened?"

"It's a long story."

"Well, we've got two hours."

"There are very few people who know anything about my past. I'd rather keep it a secret."

"So you're just gonna supress your emotions? You know, at some point it's gonna wreck you." Levi didn't respond. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"You've already told me about your parents."

"I told you my mom was dead and my dad is gone. How do you know there's not more about it?"

"Let me guess, she was killed? You witnessed it?" At this, Eren looked up at him with wide eyes, mouth half open. Levi knew by now, that he had guessed right. It was not too hard to guess; he had already hinted that his mother's death was a terrible one.

"How did you... know that...?" That was the only thing Eren said after this.

"I didn't." Eren stared at the floor, eyes still wide and mouth still half open. Maybe Levi shouldn't have brought it up the way he did. "Look, I'm sorry about your parents, kid." Eren quickly shook his head.

"It's fine." He jumped off the desk. "Let's continue."

None of them seemed to have their head in the duel this time. Obviously, they were both thinking about other stuff. Levi was so deep in his thoughts, that he had a hard time seeing what the student was doing. Eren didn't look too focused anymore, either. It was him who took the first hit, and Levi just barely dodged it by moving to the left. Levi then grabbed his wrist, but Eren twisted his arm and grabbed Levi's wrist. He then pushed his palm to the man's face. Levi had trouble catching up with Eren's actions, and leaned back as a reflex. This caused him to accidentally pull Eren, and they both lost their balance.

Levi hit the back of his head on the wooden floor. He hadn't prepared himself for this outcome. Looking up, he saw a couple of eyes wide in shock.

Eren had landed on top of him.

The boy was blushing, and it looked like he was desperately trying to apologize, but couldn't. But that wasn't what Levi had his head wrapped around. He held his breath and felt his heart pounding harder than it ever had before. He didn't know why it was happening, nor could he control it.

Levi didn't know where to look - he hadn't been in such an embarrassing situation since—... well, actually, he had never been in such an embarrassing situation.

He had nowhere else to look than at Eren, and paranoia took over. What if Eren could feel his heartbeat? What if his facial expression showed emberrassment?

Levi felt as if his heart was about to jump out of his chest. So many feelings came crashing down on him at once - feelings he normally didn't feel - and Levi reacted in the only way he knew; self defense.

So before he had time to think twice, he headbutted Eren.

"Ah!" The student jumped back, holding his hands around his nose. Levi then sat up.

"Didn't expect that one, did you?" Eren removed his hands to reveal a prick of blood on his fingers and under his nose.

"No... I didn't..." He must have thought it was part of the training.

"Let's call it the day," Levi said. Eren nodded and wiped his nose, then walked over to the desk. He didn't even hestitate, and didn't ask any questions as he packed his things.

"See you tomorrow," he smiled, then turned and walked out the door.

Levi let out a deep breath in relief. What had just happened? If he told anyone, they would tell him it was love, but Levi didn't want to believe that. He had lost too much to be able to love - or at least so he thought. Hoping that it was just a coincidence , he put his hand on his chest; his heart was still pounding.

And at that moment, he forcefully let go of the thought, despite his heart galloping for whatever reason. He was not a big fan of overthinking.

So then, after packing his things and finishing up in the library, Levi went home.


	9. Hanji's Trip

 

Levi stayed at home the next day, and told Pixis he wasn't feeling too well. Hanji was gonna check in on the library when she wasn't in class, and he could only imagine what she would do to it. Hanji Zoe, the completely nuts historian teacher, in charge of the school library.

The reason of him staying at home, he didn't know - he just didn't feel like going out that day.

The day was spent watching the television and reading (if you wonder what he's reading, he loves the crime genre), eating, then doing the dishes afterwards. He took the opportunity to do something productive, so he cleaned the entire apartment and refurnished it afterwards. It was tiring, and it took time, but it was worth it. It felt like a new home, which was extremely satisfying.

By the end of the day, after taking a shower, everything around Levi felt fresh and clean. It was around 11 o'clock by then, and he decided to go to sleep.

The hard work had really paid itself off - Levi hadn't slept that well in ages.

*****

Levi was back at work the next day. Of course, Hanji hadn't cleaned the library while he was gone. He could tell by the dirt and shoe prints on the floor. Disgusting, in his opinion.

The library was packed by three school classes. People had their projects and presentations and other types of schoolwork, and Levi got just about no peace because of that. It was far from silent - everyone seemed to be playing a good old game of who-can-talk-the-loudest. Most of them had to ask for Levi's help, too, which meant that Levi couldn't even sit down without having to get back up.

"Could you show me where the science books are?" some girl asked, and just as Levi got to his feet or the fourth time within the hour, a second girl, Sasha Braus, walked up to him with a book in her arms.

"Can I take this book with me home?"

"No," he replied, and kept walking.

"But I have an important presentation, I need this book." Levi pointed along the section to his left as he was walking.

"There's the science section. No books are leaving this library." He was referring that last sentence to Sasha while still walking towards the chaotic groups of students.

"But-"

"I said no and I'm not changing my mind. Whatever you need it for, you have to do it in this room within school hours." It might have sounded strict, but the rules of the library were made before Levi started as a librarian. His job was to make sure they were followed.

"It's due Friday!"

"Then next time you should consider starting earlier."

Having reached the tables where all the loud students had gathered, Levi stopped, and looked around. Nobody had noticed that he was standing there. Annoyed and inpatient, Levi cleared his throat. Then came the loud and clear sound of his own voice.

"Shut your fucking holes, brats!"

Within a second, or probably less, all eyes were aimed at the librarian. All the students were dead silent, as if expecting some important announcement. But Levi had nothing else to say, and he returned to his desk.

There were still some whispers here and there, but other than that, the library was silent. It was almost lunchtime, anyway, and as soon as the bell rang, the students piled out, and only a few stayed put. Levi didn't look up - he wanted to finish reading the current chapter before taking lunch.

"Wait for me, will you?" these words were spoken carefully by a male, Levi could tell. The next thing he knew, someone was walking up to him, and he was forced to look up.

He wasn't sure what he had expected. In the back of his head, he'd known that the voice was Eren's.

"Busy day, huh?"

  
_What does it look like_ , Levi thought, but he just sighed.

"What do you want?"

"Well, err... I just wondered... What do you normally do after work? Like, in your time off?"

"Nothing special, why?" The boy obviously did not feel confident in this conversation. He seemed to be hesitating, and struggled to find the right words to use.

"I-I thought that... I mean... If you're up for it... Maybe you could have dinner with Mikasa, Armin and I?" The boy was blushing by now, and he was left staring at the ground, looking ashamed.

"Why?"

"Cause... Cause you live all alone and stuff and I just thought... Maybe you'd want to come over and eat with us..." Levi was too impatient to discuss at the moment, and without giving it a second thought, he shut his book and got up.

"Alright," he simply answered, and just like that, it was announced. "When?" The decision hadn't been too difficult. After all, it was just _dinner_.

"Err... Do you have time tomorrow? We could take it after cleaning and training?"

"At eight o'clock? Sure." It needed no more planning than that.

He stood there for another second, but didn't wait for Eren to say another word, as he went off to lunch.

In the staff room, Levi made himself some warm tea and slumped down next to Erwin, who was reading the newspaper in a comfy couch.

"Shitty little brats," Levi murmured.

"You better get used to it if you're gonna keep working in a school."

"My job is only temporary since Rico's on a leave. When she comes back I'll have to work at the bar again."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Levi shot him a suspicious look as he turned the page of the newspaper.

"Do you know something I don't?" Erwin shook his head and smiled.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't." Levi kept staring, and questioned what the teacher was thinking of. Erwin was extremely wise - Levi knew that - he would never talk nonsense. Everything Erwin said had meaning. He was probably the wisest man Levi knew, when he came to think of it.

Hearing footsteps coming closer, Levi turned his head to see who was approaching them. He wasn't surprised to see it was Hanji. The three of them always sat together during lunch.

"Long day, eh?" She lay horizontally down in a chair after saying this, and stared at the ceiling. "I could really use a nap."

"That makes the two of us," Levi replied and sipped off his cup of tea.

"You had a day off yesterday.. Why did you skip work anyway? Was it because of what happened with Eren?" The last question made both men react. Erwin lowered the newspaper and looked up at Hanji, and Levi felt his heart jump and eyes widen as he lifted his head.

"Huh?" Levi didn't know how else to respond.

"I spoke with him yesterday; he came into the library and asked where you were." Levi's face snapped back to seriousness, and he leaned back in the couch, still holding his cup of tea, and crossed his legs.

"And what did you tell him?"

"Hmm, it was a quite long talk, actually. _._ I told him that you were at home, and he explained what had happened. Needless to say, he was embarrassed. He thought that maybe you didn't wanna face him right away..." she paused, as if recalling the conversation.

"And?"

"And I told him that you haven't really trusted anyone since your friends died..."

  
_So she told him about that_ , Levi thought, feeling his heart drop in a quarter of a second.

"I can trust people, I just don't get attached," Levi corrected her. Erwin was curiously watching over the two of them, but didn't say a word.

"Exactly," Hanji continued. "So I told him that they were a terrible loss for you, and that you were probably feeling lonely because you don't have them anymore." The more she talked about it, the worse Levi felt. "We discussed it for a while, and figured that maybe you needed a night out or something." And of course, this made Levi understand. It made sense now.

"So you're responsible for him inviting me out for dinner?" Hanji suddenly jerked from her position in the chair and sat up vertically with her hands on her knees, leaning forward and staring wide-eyed at the librarian. Erwin was looking at him too.

"HE ASKED YOU OUT?!" Hanji was almost yelling in excitement.

"Quiet, Hanji," Erwin reminded her.

"I was simply invited for dinner with him and his friends." Levi said before, once again, sipping off his cup of tea.

"And what did you say? You said yes, didn't you?" Hanji was smiling wide while asking this.

"Whether I said yes or not, is none of your business."

"But can't you just-"

"I'm not going to discuss this anymore." Levi had closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "If you're not gonna talk about anything else, I'll be leaving." He then sighed and looked at his two co-workers.

"Well," Hanji then started. "I was talking to Pixis about a three-day trip for class 2A, where we'll be hosting a competition." She paused, as if expecting the two others to ask questions. "They're gonna divide into groups and build their own survival camps. That includes a shelter, finding food, and everything else they need to survive, only using sources that were available before the 1800's." The two men looked at each other.

"Why?" Levi asked.

"What better way to learn history than to live it?"

"And what if something goes wrong?" It was Erwin who asked this. "Students getting hurt, sick... Surely you do have a backup plan?"

"There's this big holiday home available for trips like this, and there are two dorms plus two single bedrooms; there'll be plenty of space for everyone! I think of this as the headquarters of the trip, and like I said earlier, this is a competition. The groups can give up whenever they'd like, and they'll return to safety in the holiday home. Their phones are also the only device they're allowed to bring in the event of an emergency." Levi just stared at her, not saying a word.

"You've really thought this through," Erwin murmured. "So what does Pixis think about this?"

"He said that we could go, but I'd have to bring a male adult to watch over the boys. Will any of you join?"

"You're hardly gonna get a teacher with you," Erwin stated. "The schedules are customized so that the teachers are busy all day."

"What about you, Levi? The librarian isn't that important when it comes to running a school." Levi grunted and put his cup on the table. He then folded his arms.

"To me it sounds like I have no choice." Hanji kept eyeing him.

"So is that a yes?" Levi sighed.

"Fine, I'll do it." Hanji jumped up from her chair and a cheer escaped her.

"I'll go tell Pixis," she said, and then she was off. Levi sighed once more.

"I always get the shitty jobs in this piece of shit place," he complained.

"Well, after all, you're just a librarian in a high school," Erwin said, and pulled the newspaper back up for reading.


	10. Dinner Date

 

 

Levi had never thought he'd end up visiting Eren, but now he stood there, at the bus stop, with Eren Jaeger. He hadn't found it realistic when he accepted the offer - maybe that's why he accepted it. Anyhow, there was no turning back now. What had been done, had been done. Even though it was a stupid idea, he had to proceed now.

There weren't too many people on the bus, yet Eren sat down next to Levi. It was quite charming that he wanted to sit next to him, actually.

"So how are you gonna get back home?" That was the first thing Eren had asked, and he obviously did only to avoid silence.

"The underground train," he simply answered.

"Really? I thought that was dangerous when it's late?"

"I'll be fine." And then the silence was back.

Levi couldn't believe how little they had to talk about all of a sudden. Ever since they'd lost their balance back then, everything between them had been awkward. They barely even spoke between their cleaning and training, which was a sad thing.

*****

When they arrived in Eren and his friends' apartment, around 8:30 pm, what struck Levi was how small it was. In one corner was the kitchen and dining area, while in another was the living area. They did not have a dishwasher, nor did they have a microwave. They did have a television, though it was an old fashioned one, probably from around the 2000's.

The bedrooms were just about average size. One was slightly bigger, though stuffed with two beds for Armin and Eren to share. The bathroom was not too big either; there was a shower, a toilet, a sink and a mirror, but there would not be enough space for another furniture, Levi was sure.

When he thought about it, he found it likely that they lived off their scholarships. After all, they were 15-year olds, and getting a job at that age seemed nearly impossible.

Armin and Mikasa had made steak with potatoes and béarnaise sauce for dinner.

"Do any of you have jobs?" Levi asked out of curiousity as they sat down by the table.

"Mikasa babysits sometimes," Armin answered. "And I walk dogs... It's not much, but it's better than nothing."

Levi put food onto his plate and started eating. He had to admit that the event was going smoothly. Or at least, that was until Eren brought up an unfortunate topic.

"Hanji told me about your friends," he said, not taking his eyes off his plate. The words made Levi freeze, because it was something he did not want to discuss around the dinner table. He'd like to avoid discussing it at all, if possible. "I think I get it now, why you always act so dreadful..." Wrong. Levi was dreadful before he even met Farlan and Isabel. It was a part of him, and a part of how he was raised. He'd always known that the world was a cold and bitter place, and he'd never pretended otherwise. "I guess you just miss them."

"EREN!" Levi had slammed his fists onto the table, and his killer-gaze was aimed directly at Eren. He hadn't even realized how quick his temper had rised. The three students were staring wide-eyed at him, and Eren was the first to speak.

"I-I'm sorry," he spoke. "I thought you'd want to talk it out or som--" he was cut off as Levi leaned over the table and grasped him by his collar.

"I've already told you I want to _forget_."

"HEY," came a third voice, and before Levi got the time to react, he was knocked off his feet by an incrible force. It had been unexpected, but he wasn't surprised to see it was Mikasa who had done it; Levi knew she was more of a fighter than Eren and Armin. "Get your hands off Eren!"

"There's no need to start a fight," Levi responded, getting to his feet. "I was not going to hurt him."

"I don't like the way you treat him," Mikasa said, keeping her gaze aimed at him.

"Mikasa," came Eren's voice, with a slightly harsh tone in it. "You don't have to--"

"I do what I think is right," she cut him off, still not looking at anyone but Levi.

"I see," Levi sighed, then walked past Mikasa and over to the door.

"Where are you going?" Eren asked. "Aren't you gonna sit back down?" There was an obvious tone in his voice which blurted out the fact that he wanted the man to stay. But Levi had already made his mind up; there was no saving this dinner.

"It's a shame it had to end like this," Levi then said, having put on his coat and shoes. "It could've been a nice evening."

No other words were said, and Levi turned and left the apartment.

  
_It actually could have been a nice evening_ , he thought.

*****

Levi almost had the entire train for himself; the only other passenger aboard was a young woman with bright ginger hair. This was not surprising, though, seeing it was almost 11 pm when they reached the station. Levi hadn't realized he'd been out for that long.

The train was emptied, as both Levi and the woman got off. The underground station was empty too, except a greasy looking man standing there, just staring at him. It was not a comfortable thing; the man had shoulder-lenght bushy, grey hair, and long beard stubbles. His back looked all crooked where he stood, and there were large bags under his eyes. He looked like the stereotypical drug dealer.

"Excuse me, sir," he said, but Levi ignored him and walked straight past. He had just entered the stairs up to the surface when he heard him again, but he wasn't talking to him this time. "Please," he said, sounding desperate. "My daughter is hurt." Levi turned around, and saw that he had grabbed the woman gently by her wrist to get her attention.

"Really?" The woman replied. "Where is she?"

"Please," the man said again, and he took a step to the right, nodding at her. "Follow me, I need your help..." The woman didn't look too sure.

"But why--"

"I'm begging you! _Please,_ Miss." There was a pause.

"Okay," the woman then said, nodding. She was holding tightly on her purse, as if expecting it to be stolen.

And as the man nodded and once again asked her to follow, Levi felt the urge to step in; something was not right.


	11. Petra Ral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!! The following chapter may be triggering for some viewers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Levi decided that this was no time for hesitation, and he quickly made his way over to where they had been talking. The man was already off, but Levi put his hand on the woman's shoulder before she got the time to follow.

"I don't think he's telling the truth," he whispered,looking at the greasy man walking before them.

"What?" She responded, sounding startled. "Why not?"

"Think about it, what would his daughter do down here at a time like this?" The woman hesitated.

"But what if he's telling the truth? If I can help then I will." Levi didn't reply at first. By the sound of it, the woman wasn't going to change her mind.

"Okay," Levi then said, and let go of her shoulder. "But I'll be coming with you." She looked at him and nodded, and then they followed the man. He had noticed that Levi approached the woman, but didn't seem to mind.

The man led them down the train tracks, walking at a quick pace. Levi would have thought that if his daughter was hurt, he would be running. The evidence was piling up in his head. Not only did the man appear suspicious, but they were currently walking down the exact same tracks that Levi had the day he found his friends dead. There was no doubt in his mind; this was a trap.

However, there was a reason Levi kept following the man, instead of walking away and taking the woman with him, with force if necessary.

You see, Levi didn't knowmuch about Farlan and Isabel's deaths. He'd always known they were killed, as he found them dead that day, but he never understood _why_. What happened to them in the moment leading up to their deaths? What did they do to deserve such a terrible faith?

It was just as Levi had expected; after a while, the man got off the tracks, and entered a hidden tunnel. There was no other way to find this tunnel, than to walk down the tracks. He had not even looked back once, as if having forgotten about Levi and the woman.

Unfortunately, the suspicious act was apparantly part of the plan. While walking down the tunnel, both Levi and the woman had their attention fixed upon the greasy man. He heard a little shriek from the woman, and the next moment, Levi was pulled back into a forceful grasp, and he had a knife against his throat. Not until then did the man turn around, and he _smiled_.

"Anyone interested in the boy?" He asked, looking at Levi.

More people came walking towards them, all as greasy looking as the first man, leaving Levi and the ginger outnumbered. There were twenty of them, maybe even thirty. Some older, some younger, and some either drunk or drugged. Some were chuckling, some were laughing, and some stared at the two as if they were tonight's dinner. It was disgusting.

But what happened next was what made Levi react; two of the men approached the ginger, and they started  _touching her_ , while the rest just _watched_.

"Get your hands off me you dirty bastard," she almost yelled while attempting to shake them off, but it was no use. She was held so tightly she couldn't even move, and she looked so uncomfortable, yet so serious. But most of all, she looked angry.

The men were pulling on her clothes, jerking her back and forth, and murmuring things about her body while licking their lips.

It all made sense now, to Levi. This explained everything; why their bodies had been so bruised, and their clothes so ripped... Levi had always had some sort of suspicion, but he had denied it - refused to believe it - but now he knew.

"We haven't had a girl this good looking since that redheaded chick a couple of years ago," a man then stated - a man with his hair pulled up in a ponytail - and Levi snapped back to reality. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. The woman's shirt had been unbottoned, leaving her bra completely exposed, and Levi felt the hand of his captor crawling slowly down his back. "And her friend wasn't too bad looking either..." Levi's temper was rising so quickly he didn't know what to do with it. He was already aware that he was about to lose it - he was not going to let another life get lost to these people. "...for a guy."

Levi's body was acting on it's own now; he twisted his captor's arm, turned, and kicked his head against the wall. With a loud groan, the man fell unconcious and bleeding to the ground.

"We've got a fighter," someone yelled, and Levi grabbed hold of the knife dropped by the unconcious man, and sliced the throat of the next person approaching him. There was no hesitation.

Normally Levi would stick to self defense, but not this time - his brain had entered kill mode.

Some started running off to save themselves, having realized that Levi was not messing around, while others kept fighting. Levi almost got knocked off his feet when a fist hit him across his face, but he caught his balance and struck the knife into the opponent's chest the next moment.

More and more people left the chaos. The man with the ponytail had pinned the ginger to the ground, and she was kicking her feet, yelling and screaming for him to let go, but he wouldn't listen. Levi was making his way towards them, while continuously fighting other men.

At some point, someone grabbed his arms and squeezed them tightly. He felt the person's nails digging into his skin, and the pain urged all the way up to his neck. He immediately tried pushing the person off by shoving his palm up his opponent's chin, but it had been expected; the opponent dug his teeth into the side of Levi's hand. He yelled, then used all the strenght in his body, and prepared to _throw_ the person holding onto him.

There were several people on him by now. Levi swung his upper body, forcing the other man with him, and knocked the others over like dominos. Groans and yells were heard all over, and the man clinging onto him finally lost grip, scraping his nails along Levi's skin in the process.

Levi had a quick look at his hand; there was a dotted, circular line, representing where his opponent's teeth had been, and blood was prickling out.

Levi turned to the bunch of men he had just knocked over - there were four of them, he counted - and he continuously kicked them so hard he could hear their ribs crack. Not a single one of them were able to get up or away. Levi felt no sympathy, despite their desperate screams in agony. Levi felt nothing but burning rage, and he let it out on these people. He'd never hated anyone this badly.

And then, as their screams died out, Levi turned around, and looked at the remaining opponent; the man with the ponytail. Oh, how Levi hated him; he was the worst of them all. Even after killing several people, Levi felt an intensly burning rage for this one man. The woman was covering her face with her hands, seemengly crying, but the man just smiled and got to his feet.

"Done already?" He asked, then pulled a gun from his pocket, aimed it at Levi, and loaded it. "Not bad."

Levi thought he was going to shoot - he was sure of it - but he didn't get the time; the woman, who'd noticed him aiming the gun at Levi, had come to her senses. She kicked his feet from underneath him, causing him to fall with a loud grunt and drop the gun (he obviously underrated her ability to attack).

Levi knew he had won this fight, despite the large amount of opponents in the beginning (though some of them had been very beatable due to being drunk or drugged). With his foot, Levi shoved the gun out of the man's reach.

Next, Levi grabbed the man by his clothing and slammed him hard against the wall. Just looking at his face disgusted Levi.

"That _redheaded chick_ was my best friend," Levi said before kneeing him in the groin, with such force he was sure the whole thing would come off. The man screamed on the top of his lungs, and as Levi dropped him to the ground, he crawled into something like a fetus position. "And so was _her guy friend.._." Levi then kicked the man's head, being surprised when that didn't come off either. Blood started running down his nose, and he was crying, too. "They are no longer here to get their revenge..." Levi kicked him in the ribs this time, providing him the pain of broken bones. "But I can." Levi couldn't stand his face anymore, so he stomped on it, and he could hear his nose break as he did.

"Please, he begged desperately. "Spare me." Levi just scoffed. Everything about this man disgusted him. The fact that he asked to be spared only made him hate him even more.

"I don't spare sick fuckers like you."

"You don't want to dirty your hands because of me!" He screamed in desperation. Levi paused, staring at the man's ugly, now disformed face. How could anyone be this stupid?

Look around you." He had another look at the men lying on the ground behind him. "My hands are already dirty."

With fear snapping to the man's face, Levi stomped again. And again. The intense screams echoed through the tunnel, until finally, a few stomps later, everything went silent. The only sound that was heard was Levi grunting as he kept stomping, despite getting no response. He kept going, because this man deserved every ounce of pain that was given to him. Levi hated him from the bottom of his heart. He hated what him and his people had done... Farlan... Isabel... Taken advantage of in such a disgraceful way... Abused... Forced... Then killed... He could almost see them screaming for help... But none had come... Levi had been too late... He could've saved them... And now he was crying... Wanting them back... While desperatly trying to kill an already dead man... All the feelings he'd held for these years came crashing down at him. All at once. He could _physically_ feel the pain in his heart. He was so angry, yet so upset. No, he was _broken_. And he just kept stomping, because he didn't know what else to do.

"Stop it!" the woman almost yelled, gently trying to pull him away. "He's dead." A numb feeling suddenly occupied Levi, and he stopped. He stood there, forcing his mental strength to build itself back up, and then he turned to look at the woman. There were tears in her eyes, but her facial expression was dead serious.

"What's your name?" Levi simply asked. She wiped her tears away, but kept her serious expression.

"Petra," she answered. "Petra Ral." Levi just looked at her, his mind empty of thoughts.

"I'm Levi... Just Levi..." Because really, he was _just_ Levi...

*****

When he got back home that night, he went straight to his bedroom and pulled on one of Farlan's old sweathers that he'd kept. He also picked up a white shirt that had been Isabel's... It smelled just like her...

He lay down in his bed, staring at a framed photo on his nightstand; a photo of him, Farlan and Isabel. All memories came rushing back to him, both good and bad. But Levi didn't cry this time - he just felt numb. There was nothing else he could do. He would have to move on, just like he always had.

And that night, his thoughts kept him awake, along with the horrible images in his head.

_The world s cruel._


	12. Is He Your Boyfriend?

Hanji's trip was creeping up by the end of the week. In fact, they were leaving that monday. Levi had hoped it would get cancelled for some reason, but of course, his luck didn't strike.

Hanji, Levi, and class 2A met up in the schoolyard at 9 AM, and after confirming that everyone was present, they got on a school bus.

The bus ride was probably the most annoying thing about the entire trip; students were talking loudly, even yelling or screaming. There were both arguments and laughs, sometimes even at once. Levi wasn't used to this - he was used constant silence in the library.

The high noise was only the beginning; the road was so bumpy and uneven, it was like a rollercoaster ride. Not to mention, Reiner Braun was kicking Levi's seat. He had told him to stop, but when he didn't, Levi figured it'd be better changing seats - he was not in the mood to put up with Reiner.

He took the seat behind Hanji, and of course, he didn't get any less bothered there. As soon as Hanji saw him, she turned around and handed him a map.

"What do you think?" She asked with a proud smile. The map was marked with the names of different students in the class, and then there was a large square marked with  _'_ _HQ'_. Other than that, it looked like an ordinary map.

"What am I looking at?"

"A map that shows the groups' locations and the location of the holiday home, or as I like to call it, the Headquarters." Levi quickly looked over the map; if he had anything to say in this case, he wanted to take part.

"And you put Sasha and Connie together?"

"Yeah," Hanji responded, then settled up in her seat. "You see, in this class there are seven girls and nine boys, enough for three girl groups and four boy groups, then I'm left with one boy and one girl. It's well known that Sasha and Connie makes a very good pair, and therefore I put them together in a group."

"But Hannah and Franz are in separate groups?" Hannah and Franz were one of the school's very proud couples. Levi had barely ever seen one without the other.

"It seemed like the right decision," Hanji spoke in defense. "Hannah and Franz get along just fine with Mina and Thomas." Levi rolled his eyes, feeling a headache creeping its way to his head.

"Yeah, sure, do whatever you want." Hanji took the hint, and happily nicked the map before facing forward again.

Levi ran his hand through his hair and leaned back in the seat with a sigh. He regretted this trip already. For him, it would be a waste of time, or simply doing Hanji a favour... Though in the end, he would probably have to do it anyway.

"Um... Levi?" Levi turned his head and saw Eren standing there, trying to get his attention. People just couldn't stop botherig him, could they?

"For fuck sake, what do  _you_ want?" Levi could read his facial expression right away; the last thing he wanted to be was a bother.

"I just wanted to apologize..."

"For what?"

"Well... for bringing up your friends..." That's right... The happening in the underground station had made Levi forget about the dinner.

"You don't have to worry about it," Levi replied, hoping that Eren wouldn't bring it back up  _again_. The whole Farlan and Isabel thing had taken a turn for the worse in Levi's head.

"You two sure spend a lot of time together," came Reiner's voice. Of course someone else had to butt in. "Is he your  _boyfriend_ , Eren?" He was definitely teasing him. Levi could see Eren's face reddening, and of course, he looked annoyed.

"Does that make Bertholt  _your_  boyfriend?" Levi hadn't planned on talking back, but sometimes this kind of verbal defense just came naturally.

"Huh? What are you on about?"

"You ask if I'm Eren's boyfriend because we spend some time together, but you spend more time with Bertholt than I do with Eren. So tell me, is Bertholt your boyfriend?" It was not until now he realized how silent his surroundings were. Everyone on the bus had grown an interest in this conversation. Even Hanji was watching them closely.

"Reiner," Bertholt then said. "I think you should--"

"Bertholt and I are friends," Reiner then told Levi, ignoring Bertholt.

"Well you can't spell  _boyfriends_ without  _friends_ ," Eren burst out, and Levi was surprised by his harsh tone. He would've thought he'd calmed down.

"Eren," Levi shot his attention back to the angry brunette, who seemed rather startled by the sound of his name. "Get back to your seat."

"Hey, he referred that question to me!"

"Your temper is influencing your choice of words and action. By the sound of it, you're just making this worse. Now get back to your seat." It only took Eren a few seconds of hesitation before he obeyed, and Levi then looked at Reiner again. "So what exactly is Bertholt to you?"

"Reiner, stop this," Bertholt tried again, this time lowering his voice. He did sound sort of nervous, actually.

"I just asked Eren a question, Bertholt has nothing to do with this," Reiner continued.

"If you must know, I spend time with Eren because he got in trouble, and I'm now in charge of his punishment. If you have nothing to hide, you would've answered my question by now. Is there anything you wanna say?" Bertholt didn't say anything this time. Reiner just scoffed and shook his head, then looked out the window.

Levi honestly hadn't expected that outcome. He, and probably everyone else on the bus, was sure that Reiner and Bertholt had something between them. Perhaps they weren't boyfriends, but there had to be something there.

Something that surprised Levi was that no one pushed Reiner for an answer. Everyone was as quiet as they were when the conversation had started.

Levi leaned back in his seat again, and saw Hanji smiling at him.

"That was awesome," she whispered to him, then turned away again.

There was something that struck Levi, though; first Hanji, and now Reiner. Did people actually see Levi and Eren as a couple? Reiner had also said that they spent a lot of time together. They didn't, did they?

They spent some hours together in the library after school, but that was because Pixis had told them to, right? There was that one time Levi had to save him and have him stay over... And there was the dinner he'd had with the trio... Then there was the trip that was happening now...

The more Levi thought of it, it did sound like a lot. But to be honest, as long as neither of them were bothered by it, it shouldn't be negative. Levi only felt bothered by him  _sometimes_. Usually Eren was a good kid, just like Hanji had assured him a couple of weeks earlier.

 _As long as I don't get attached to the damn kid,_ Levi then thought.


	13. Uh Oh

The holiday home was quite big; there were two dorms, each with bunk beds for ten people, and two single bedrooms, just as Hanji had predicted. There was also an enormous kitchen and a dining hall.

As soon as they arrived, Hanji gave the students one hour to unpack and get ready for the competition. She then had everyone meet in the dining hall for instructions.

"You've all been informed how this competition works," she started. "You are to live off resources that were available before the 1800s only. I've divided you into groups of two that I'm sure will work out just fine for everyone, and I've given every group a location." She paused and looked at the students. "If there are no questions I will proceed to the groups." After saying this, she picked up the map and cleared her throat. "Jean and Marco... Ymir and Christa... Mina and Hannah... Annie and Mikasa... Sasha and Connie... Eren and Armin... Thomas and Franz... and Bertholt and Reiner..."

Hanji gave further information and answered the students' questions, but Levi didn't bother to pay attention, since none of it would affect him.

Every group received a copy of Hanji's map, and she sent them off the next moment. This actually didn't take too long, so Hanji returned only minutes later, and they now had the entire place for themselves.

"So," she said and slumped down in the wooden chair across the table to Levi. "When are you gonna explain how you got that bruise?" Levi had hoped no one would question it. His left cheekbone had been bruised after what happened in the underground station, though it was vanishing by now.

"It's nothing," Levi answered, dead serious.

"Oh? And what about the wound on your hand?"

"Would you believe me if I said I was bitten by a dog?"

"No, dog teeth are rounder and sharper than human teeth, and they've got some teeth larger than the rest, almost like a fang. If you were to be bitten by a dog, there would be two larger wounds, or there would be wounds here and there. There is no way a dog could leave a trace like that; that's a human bite." Levi rolled his eyes. This was the sort of information that could only come from Hanji. "If I know you correctly, you got yourself into a fight." Levi leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"I only fight when it's necessarry," he pointed out. "Or when they deserve it," he then muttered.

"Why of course, I wouldn't expect otherwise from you!" She then pulled a bunch of papers from her backpack, in which Levi just stared at.

"What's that?"

"Class 2B's historian tests," she smiled.

"So you mean you've got nothing planned while  _they_ are out?"

"Oh I've got something planned for us..." after saying this, Hanji looked up at Levi and winked.

 _Dirty woman_ , Levi thought, but he just rolled his eyes and left the table.

*****

Luckily, Levi had brought a book to read. He didn't read for longer than an hour or so, though, because Hanji entered his single room by then.

"I'm done correcting the tests," she said proudly. "You ready to see what I've planned?" Levi thought about this once again, and shivers ran down his spine.

"It depends... What is it?" Hanji shot him a mischievous smile.

"We're gonna spy on the students." Needless to say, Levi was relieved that her plans weren't more serious than that.

*****

There wasn't too much interesting happening among the students. Some of them were sleeping, some were looking around for something edible, and some weren't even in their camps. Franz and Thomas, for example, had entered Mina and Hannah's location, and the four of them were just sitting there, chatting about some everyday nonsense.

There were a few groups that were rememberable, though, like Annie and Mikasa. They didn't speak much, but everything they did was quite impressive. When Hanji and Levi watched them, Annie was grilling fish over a fireplace, while Mikasa was building a shelter out of branches and rocks.

The group they spied on next was Jean and Marco, but there wasn't too much to see.

"We can't let Eren and Armin beat us," was the first thing they heard Jean tell Marco. "There's no way I'm gonna let that dork do better than me."

"Why do you dislike Eren so much?" Marco then asked. "I mean, you two make everything a competition."

"I don't know, we've just never gotten along... Not for as long as I can remember..."

"I thought it had something to do with him being so close to Mikasa?"

"Well, she's cute and all, but she only cares about Eren - seriously, she'd give up her life for him."

"So it  _does_ have something to do with Mikasa."

"No... First of all, it says a lot when he hangs more with the school librarian than with her... and secondly, I'm not even sure what they are to each other... They're not blood related, but I think his parents adopted her or something after she lost her parents... I'm not sure..."

"In other words, you don't even know why you dislike Eren?" Jean sighed.

"I guess not... But you have to admit, sometimes it's fun annoying him." Marco scoffed and shook his head.

"You could always try to be nice to him."

"Yeah, whatever..."

Next group was Sasha and Connie. This, too, was an interesting one, because neither Hanji nor Levi had expected to see what they saw.

"You think we can win this?" Sasha asked, sitting next to Connie under a poorly built shelter.

"Not a chance," Connie sighed. "Mikasa and Annie are as good as unbeatable - everyone knows it." They could hear Sasha's stomach rumbling, and then it was her turn to sigh.

"I'm hungry," she said sadly, but Connie didn't respond at first.

"I guess we're not as strong as the others, huh... We might as well just give up..." At this, Sasha's head snapped to look at him.

"No, don't say that," she begged him. "We might not win, but we can do better than this!"

"You think so?"

"Yes I do! We're not useless, Connie, if they can do it, so can we!" Sasha had thrown her arms around the boy before she'd finished the sentence. Her eyes were glowing with confidence, and then Connie smiled back at her. "I'm sure of it..." This was the part that surprised Levi and Hanji; Suddenly, Sasha was kissing the boy.

There were quite a few couples in this class, then: Ymir and Christa, Hannah and Franz, Sasha and Connie, appearantly, and maybe even Bertholt and Reiner.

"Okay," Connie then said as they both pulled away. The next moment, they just sat there, staring at the skies, smiling weakly and holding hands, but not saying anything, and so, Hanji and Levi moved on.

Hanji's mood was much brighter after this. She kept reminding him how cute Sasha and Connie were together, and she only shut up as they got closer to the final group; Armin and Eren.

"I don't know..." It was Eren who had said this, and by the sound of it, they were in the middle of a conversation. They sat around a little fireplace. "It's not like I'm trying to..." There was a pause.

"To me it sounds like you are," Armin then said. "It's very noticable..."

"Well, he's out of my league anyway..." There was yet another pause, and then Eren sighed. "There's no way Levi likes me back..."

Levi's heart dropped that instant, and Hanji gasped just about too loudly. He would've done something, but it was already too late...

Eren and Armin's heads snapped towards where they were standing, and Levi could see all the colours draining from Eren's face.

"Uh oh," Hanji said, standing still. The four of them just stared at each other, not being able to say a word. Levi could've sworn he saw tears in Eren's eyes.

He didn't know how to react to this. His heart was galloping again, yet somehow, he kept his serious facial expression.

"Tch," Levi then said, hanging his head. He then turned and walked away, and Hanji followed.

...He didn't look back once.


	14. Murderers

Hanji kept reminding Levi that him and Eren would make a cute couple, but Levi didn't respond to this - he was still unsure how he should react to the secret they'd just discovered. He didn't quite understand how or when Eren had fallen for him. From what he could recall, he'd treated the boy like trash all along. When he came to think of it, maybe that was wrong of him? Eren did everything he was told, but received nothing but crap thrown back at him...

 _Maybe I've been too harsh_ , Levi thought, but then he snapped out of it.  _No. H_ _e doesn't like me. He can't._  This was more of a denial than anything. The last thing he wanted was some dramatic love bullshit.

It started raining by the end of the day, and of course, some students returned to the holiday home because of this. Two groups had returned as the night fell, having been out for only a few hours. Luckily, none of these groups were Eren and Armin. Why luckily? No idea, Levi just wasn't ready to face Eren yet.

And it took quite some time for their group to arrive, too. Another day, actually, and when they did, Levi faced a dilemma; should he ignore Eren's lovelife, or should he talk to him?

On one hand, Levi would prefer not to talk about their feelings - it sounded so cliché and unnecessarry... But on the other hand... They'd gotten along so well, it would be a shame if they couldn't talk after this. Plus, if they talked, Levi could perhaps find out  _how_ and  _when_ this crush had devoloped. He still found it hard to believe that someone he'd treated like trash had a crush on him.

Soon enough, Levi stood outside the boys' dorm, having decided to talk to Eren. He could hear voices inside, and it was obvious who they belonged to.

"I bet you cheated!"

"Did not!" Levi just rolled his eyes, then he opened the door. In one bottom bunk sat Armin, and in another sat Jean and Marco. Eren sat in a top bunk, shooting Jean a look of irritation. Only when Levi entered did they break eye contact, and suddenly, all attention was on Levi.

"I need a word with Eren Jaeger," He informed before his eyes landed on the boy he'd come for. It did not at all look like Eren wanted to go with him, but he climbed down from the bunk and did anyway. Upon leaving, Levi spotted a curious look in Armin's eyes; he obviously knew what Levi came for.

Levi searched for somewhere private to talk, which turned out to not be the easiest mission; the dining room was occupied, the kitchen was occupied... Heck, even the bathroom was occupied! Therefore, Levi brought the student to the single room where he slept.

"Shut the door behind you," Levi commanded and sat down in the bed. Eren obeyed, but needless to say, he did not look confident in this situation. Levi had to admit that it seemed sort of misleading, after all. They eyed each other suspiciously, and Levi was the first to speak. "You don't actually like me, do you, brat?"

"What kind of a question is that?" His voice was raised; It was probably his way of dealing with stress.

"I just find it hard to believe that you can like someone you don't even know."

"Don't I know you?" He sounded quite angry, actually. He was almost yelling.

"No you don't. You know nothing about me; not my past, not even my age..."

"That's because you refuse to tell me anything!" This time he actually did yell.

"Eren, calm down." There was a pause. "The reason I don't go around sharing my past, is that I don't think everyone can handle it."

"You're not the only person with a tough past, though."

"Right, I wasn't aware this was a fucking  _competition_." At this, Eren blushed, and Levi's eyes didn't leave the boy as he continued, "I just recently found out that Farlan and Isabel were sexually abused before their deaths." He could feel his throat tightning as the words escaped him. "Do you know what happened the day I found them?" Eren shook his head. Levi had no idea why he'd decided to talk about this all of a sudden, because honestly, this was the most sensitive topic he could think of. "We worked at a bar back in the days, all three of us. Among us, I'd say I played the role as the overprotective brother; I refused to let them go off by themselves, because I was sure that if I did, I'd lose them." The memories came flashing back, and Levi hung his head. "One day, my boss forced me to stay late, and Farlan and Isabel didn't want to wait for three hours for me to finish... So of course, they told me they wanted to go - that they could take the underground train home... I told them no cause I already knew what the world was like out there, but they convinced me in the end. When I finished work three hours later, I tried calling them, but they didn't pick up..." Eren sat down in the bed next to Levi. He was so calm now, unlike earlier. Levi continued, "So I went down in the underground station and searched for them... But when I finally found them, they were already dead." He sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair, and thoughts rushed through his head. "They told me to trust them, and I did," he murmured. "I never should've."

"What did you do?"

"I was in denial... I brought them with me back, and was stopped by two strangers - or at least, back then they were strangers - Hanji Zoe and Erwin Smith."

"Wait, you said you  _recently_ found out they were abused before their deaths."

"Yeah, friday to be exact... I took the underground train home, and in the station I saw a man luring a young woman with him. I didn't trust it, so I followed, and he led us to where I'd found Farlan and Isabel. A whole bunch of other men joined in and started talking trash about my friends while treating the woman like some fucking  _sex toy_."

"You didn't let them, right?" Levi turned to look at Eren, pausing.

"You might think differently of me when I tell you this, but I want to see how you handle it. And you're not telling anyone about this, understood?" Eren stared blankly at him for a short moment, but then he nodded. Levi then leaned back against the wall. "Bastards like those don't deserve to live, and I think I did the world a favour by getting rid of them."

"You killed them?" Levi shrugged.

"About half of them.."

"Is that how you got that bruise?"

"One bruise, one bite, and a nasty looking scratch mark." There was a glimt of shock in the boy's eyes, but then it disappeared.

"Well... I guess I'm not the one to judge... I've killed someone, too." He looked up at the man with a questioning look.

"Spit it out, kid."

"Well, I'm not really unfamiliar to sexual abuse either... I was 10, and my father took me to visit Mikasa... Long story short, Mikasa's parents were killed, Mikasa was kidnapped and I somehow found out where they had her. Appearantly they were supposed to sell her mother for sexual matters, but since they'd killed her, they decided to take Mikasa instead... So when I found them, I killed two of the kidnappers, and Mikasa killed the third."

"Really?" Levi asked for confirmation, and Eren nodded. "Not bad."

_I've underrated the kid... He's not that weak after all..._


	15. The Next Morning

Levi was awakened with a terrible neck pain by some odd noises coming from the kitchen. He did not only wonder what those noises were, but also why he had such a neck pain. Not until he sat up did he realize he'd slept sitting against the wall. But why--

Oh, right...

Eren was sleeping next to him, so peacefully and quiet. They must've fallen asleep while talking the night before.

Levi checked his watch; 5:13 AM.

 _Who the fuck is up this early?_  Levi could only guess that it was Hanji - he never knew what she was up to anyway.

However, Levi was not the slightest surprised when he entered the kitchen and saw Sasha and Connie stuffing their faces with whatever food they could find.

"It's five in the morning," Levi said aggressivly, and the two students were so startled they almost fell off their feet. They would have spoken, but their mouths were so stuffed with food they didn't have a chance of getting any words out.

"Wuw wush goshbuck," Sasha attempted hopelessly, and of course, her words were impossible to be understood.

"Do me a favour and swallow before you speak." He could see how they both started chewing intensly, staring at him like a pair of hungry, stunned zombies. Connie swallowed.

"We just got back," he explained. "We've lived off berries and river water for an entire day! WE'RE SO HUNGRY!" Sasha stuffed cold mashed potatoes in her mouth, then she discovered the peanut butter and jelly. In a hurry, she grabbed two pieces of bread, slapped on some peanut butter and jelly, smacked them together, and took a huge bite. When Connie saw this, he burst into action and did the same.

"In case you haven't noticed, everyone is still asleep..." Levi approached them, and grabbed Connie by his collar. "So you brats better keep it down. Understood?" Levi wasn't usually this harsh, but it was early, and he had a bad neck pain, so he was not feeling too patient. Connie nodded. "Good." Levi then let go of the boy's collar, and returned to his single room.

Now he only had to put up with Eren.

It would be a shame to wake him up - he was sleeping so peacefully - but what does one do when there's someone sleeping in one's bed?

Levi just stood there, looking at the boy. This was the first time he'd had a good look on him, and for a brief moment he actually questioned if he'd be able to lay him down and sleep next to him... But then the next moment, he was disgusted by his sudden way of thinking.

 _He's a fucking kid_ , he told himself strictly, looking away. This thought made Levi remember similar episodes from kindergarten. Eren would sometimes fall asleep while Farlan read to them, or after he'd eaten, and Levi would have to carry him to the kindergarten's nap room. This was just like it, except only this time, Eren was fifteen instead of three.  _Just get him out of here._

That's exactly what Levi was going to do; carry him to the boys' dorm.

Eren was way heavier than he used to be, but that was nothing Levi couldn't handle. This would go smoothly as long as Eren didn't wake up.

He carefully snuck over to the boys' dorm, opened the door and peeked in; everyone was asleep, fortunately. The sound of silent snoring was all Levi could hear (along with a few noises from the kitchen, of course). 

He tiptoed from the door over to a bunk bed, then he lay the student down in the bottom bunk. Eren had originally occupied a top bunk, but since there was a free bottom bunk, Levi found it easier to put him there. He put the covers over him and turned to leave, and there stood Connie.

"Professor Levi," he startled. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm making sure that everyone's asleep," Levi responded in a hurry, hoping that he hadn't seen him pulling covers over a sleeping Eren. Levi knew how to behave in situations where he'd like to avoid being caught; he only had to act as if he was in control, and if necessary, confront the other person as if he or she was doing something wrong too. "Once again, it's five in the morning, so if you're done eating, you better go to sleep too." This was the perfect opportunity to leave the room, so Levi walked past Connie and out the door, shutting it behind him. He then returned to his single room for a couple more hours of sleep.

*****

"You've all done exceptionally great," Hanji announced around the breakfast table that morning. "So great, actually, that I've decided to have your results count as an assessment to your final grade!" There were mixed reactions to this; some looked horrified, some looked excited. Hanji continued, "But you must remember that this was a competition, and therefore, I will reveal the results! On a clear first place - Mikasa and Annie!"

"Of course," people muttered, and also, "Knew it from the start." Levi spotted Annie rolling her eyes, as if bored. No one looked the slightest surprised.

"Second place - Sasha and Connie!" This reaction was more interesting to watch. Everyone's eyes snapped to the two, and no one seemed to believe what they were hearing.

"We came  _second_?" Sasha asked, turning wide-eyed to Connie.

"We ranked better than  _Bertholt and Reiner_?" He asked back. "And  _Eren_ , and  _Jean,_ and-"

"See, I told you we could do it!" She was smiling proudly now, poking Connie's cheek.

"Third place - Bertholt and Reiner," Hanji continued as if she hadn't heard anything. Between every result there was some sort of reaction from the class. "Fourth place - Eren and Armin!"

"Cheater," Jean muttered at Eren.

"Fifth place - Jean and Marco!"

"Not," Eren muttered back, aggressivly. Those two always had to argue - some things never change.

"Sixth place - Ymir and Christa, seventh place - Thomas and Franz, and eighth place - Hannah and Mina." The only member of these last teams that looked unhappy with their ranking was Mina. Hannah and Franz were cuddling (cause why not), Ymir told Christa how they would've done better if Christa had decided to stay (this was something Levi found interesting about their relationship; Ymir appeared to be dominant, but she would always let Christa decide), and Thomas just sat there, as if he hadn't heard a thing.

While these reactions kept going, Levi's phone rang, and the name  _Erwin Smith_  lit up the screen. Funnily enough, Levi was surprised there was even a phone signal. After all, they were out in the middle of nowhere, right?

Levi left the dining hall, since at the moment, it was quite noisy. He then answered the phone.

"Yeah?" He said.

"Hi, you and Hanji are still out on that trip, am I right?"

"Yeah, we'll be heading back tomorrow... Why?"

"I'm gonna have to meet you once you return; there's something important I have to discuss with you."


	16. Erwin's Offer

_"Eren," Levi spoke, and his own voice left echoes in his head. The brunette looked up at him, but did not reply, and Levi was left just gazing into his eyes. He reached forward and gently placed his fingers along Eren's jaw, still not saying anything - words were not needed._

_He let out a short breath, closing his eyes, and then he leaned in. Slightly parted, his lips met Eren's, and the boy responded at once; his arms flung around Levi's neck, and he was leaning forward, deepening the kiss._

_The next moment, though, his arms drew back, and Eren himself pulled away from the kiss. When Levi opened his eyes, he stood alone in the middle of his apartment. Eren had disappeared without a trace._

_"Eren?" Levi asked, looking around, but there was no response._

_He checked the bedroom - no Eren - he checked the bathroom - no Eren. His pulse was raising, and he exited his apartment at a quick pace._

_"Eren!" Still no response, and he scanned the place with his head full of chaos. He ran down the streets,_ _without being quite sure what led him there, and he_ _continuously yelled after Eren. However, no one responded._

_Soon enough, Levi ran out of breath, and he stopped. He had no idea where Eren was - he was there one moment and was gone the next. But Levi had to find him, no matter the cost._

_"Le....." came the struggle of a weak voice. It sounded as if the person was choking. Levi looked around, and then he saw who the owner of the voice was... "Le...vi..." It was Eren, covered in blood, leaning against a wall, and staring at Levi with big, desperate eyes. His entire body was trembling, like he could barely stand on his own. He reached his hand towards Levi, tears rolling down his cheeks. "H-H..elp.... Me...." And then, his legs couldn't hold him any longer, and he collapsed to the ground._

_"EREN!" Levi rushed forward, pulling Eren into his arms while blood was pricking from the boy's body and onto Levi's clothing. A quiet breath escaped Eren, but he did not inhale any longer. He didn't respond anymore. His body was limp, eyes staring into the open air without blinking. "No," Levi whispered, shaking his head. "No, no, no, no..." He pulled Eren closer, hugging him tightly, and suddenly, he was in tears. "Not you too..." Levi knew there was nothing he could do, but he refused to let go. He clinged onto Eren's dead body, desperately hoping he would come back to life, but he knew he wouldn't. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." His heart fell into a black abyss as he realized that Eren was unable to respond, or even hear him..._ _and then..._

"Levi!" Came a loud voice, and Hanji burst into his single room, turning on the lights. "Are you ready to go?" Levi sat up in the bed, grunting.

"What time is it?"

"It's 10 AM - you actually overslept..." Her facial expression went blank, and she just stared at him, blinking a few times. "What's wrong?" This was a question Levi had never received, and he didn't quite understand what she was referring to.

"What do you mean  _what's wrong_?" He asked, and then there was a pause. Hanji looked almost amazed, in a whole new way - not excited, but rather shocked.

"You have tears in your eyes," she then informed him. Levi broke eye contact and brought a finger to underneath his left eye. Tears. "Did something happen?"

"Tch," he said, wiping his eyes. "I'm just fine..." He then got up from the bed. "I'll change and pack my stuff, then I'm ready to go." He shot Hanji his leave-me-alone-glare, and after a short moment, she took the hint.

"Alright," she said, smiling and nodding, then left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Levi couldn't believe that his dream had brought him to tears. How could he get  _that_ emotional over such a thing? After all, him and Eren had only known each other for a couple of weeks (if you ignore the kindergarten days, that is)...

*****

"So, what's so important?" Levi asked. He had invited Erwin over to his apartment as soon as he got back home, and now they sat there, around Levi's dining table, drinking coffee.

"As you know, your job as a librarian is only temporary since Rico is on a leave."

"Yeah," Levi said, keeping his stare aimed at Erwin. "What about it?"

"Well, Pixis called me to his office last week to discuss business related matters. He announced to me a while back that he was going to retire, and he wanted me to take over his position as a principal. In order to do so, we need someone to replace me as a physical education teacher. So my question to you is; would you be interested in a permanent job as a physical education teacher?"

"What about a librarian?"

"Rico contacted Pixis and informed him that she'll be returning for next term. In other words, your days as a librarian will be over regardless of you accepting this offer or not. Seeing that you've quit your job at the local bar, declining this offer would leave you unemployed."

"But why do you want me to replace you? Why not Hanji or some other person?"

"You are my first choice because you are very strong, both mentally and physically. I've known that since I saw you carry your two friends up the underground station. I know that you teach Eren self defense, and I must say I'm impressed by his massive improvements in PE. I think you would do great teaching it. Thus, this offer fits very well to your situation, considering the fact that you will need a new job. Also, Hanji is my third choice. If you choose to decline, I know a strong man who would be fit to the position."

"It sounds like a great offer, but I can't come up with an official answer right now. It's been a long couple of days with a bunch of annoying brats... And Hanji... I'm tired and can't really think straight."

"I see... Well, this offer is not all I wanted to discuss with you..." That doesn't sound very promising, does it? Erwin settled up in his chair, then he proceeded to the question, "Levi, how do you feel about Eren Jaeger?" Levi eyed him suspiciously, wondering if this was some sort of confrontation.

"What do you mean?" Was all he could think of responding.

"I know more than you think... I know that you had dinner with him and his friends, I know that you teach him self defense, I know that he once fell on top of you, and I suppose that's why you skipped work the next day. You may not realize it, but you spend a lot of time with him."

"My lovelife is none of your business," Levi almost yelled, slamming his fists onto the table. Erwin remained calm.

"I did not say a word about your lovelife," he simply answered, and this made Levi lean back, not being aware of holding his breath. This seemed a lot like a confrontation, indeed. "But you're right, this is none of my business... I do understand if you don't want to tell me about it, but I want you to know that you've changed since you started spending time with Eren."

"How come?" Erwin kept his serious and strict expression - the one he always wore - and went on explaining:

"You used to have this constant numb look in your eyes, and you seemed so alone, not allowing anyone to enter your world. You seemed to be pushing everyone away, isolating yourself from the world around you, rather than going out with your friends, or enjoy your life in any way." What Erwin said was true, Levi had to admit. He'd been living on auto pilot for years, only following his daily schedule - he had never seen the point of doing something new. "Now, however, you show more emotion; I've detected anger, confusion, embarrassment, and even enjoyment. You spend a lot of time with Eren by your own choice, despite having previously repeatedly told Hanji and I that you dislike him. And also, you don't complain about him anymore - actually, you avoid speaking of him as much as possible. But the most noticeable change is that you look much more... Alive." Honestly, by the sound of it, Erwin was stalking Levi. How could he notice all these things when Levi hadn't even done so himself?

Levi hung his head, not being sure how to respond to any of this. His eyes stared at nothing at all, and his head was spinning with the information he'd received. Heck, he hadn't even noticed these changes until now.

Levi was fully aware of what Erwin was saying, but he didn't want to get attached to Eren. Normally, one would think the problem was Eren being an underage male student, but this didn't bother Levi at all. No, Levi couldn't care less about Eren being underage or male. The only thing Levi cared about was himself and how he would feel when Eren was gone. Was it selfish? Well, of course it was! But Levi had learnt that being selfish was important in order to remain strong. Being selfish is not always bad. Caring too much about others will eventually leave you in tears, and Levi wanted to avoid that if possible.

"That is all," Erwin then spoke, before getting up and leaving the table. Levi remembered the dream he had had before waking up that morning. Him losing Eren, after clearly expressing his feelings towards him. For a moment, he wanted to tell himself off for bringing the dream up to himself, but then he realized how relevant it was; it was the exact reason why he didn't want to get attached to  _anyone_. "Thank you for hav-"

"I don't think you understand," Levi spoke up, his head still hung and his eyes staring at nothing. Erwin stopped by the front door, turning his head slightly to look at Levi. "It's like it's my destiny... Losing people, I mean..." Not until now did he look up at the other man, a strict look on his face. "Being attached to Eren would mean getting upset when losing him." It was as if Erwin had waited for this comment, because he replied at once.

"Before jumping to any conclusions, I recommend thinking of the outcome from the other person's point of view. I don't know whether you see Eren as a friend, a brother, a boyfriend, or anything else, but it's clear that Eren looks up to you. I want you to think about that." After eyeing each other in silence once more, Erwin turned away again, pulling the front door open. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

And then, without another word, Erwin left, leaving Levi stare after him in silence.

 _Well, t_ _his is a shitty situation_.


	17. Levi's True Feelings

Levi didn't know what to think. Erwin had made it sound like Levi was in love with Eren, but of course, Levi himself didn't wanna believe that. He'd never even been in love, so he wouldn't know, anyway.

Could this be what it felt like? Being in love? Levi had thought it would be worse - if he  _was_ in love, that is. Maybe it was an early stage of a crush? Or maybe he hadn't fallen in love yet, but would soon do?

Not knowing was the worst part; it's hard making a decision about something you're clueless about.

But Levi couldn't sit around thinking about this. What he did was to grab his phone and call Petra - yes, Petra, as in Petra Ral.

You see, while they walked away from the crime scene Levi had caused, they got to know each other, and Levi learnt that Petra was a nurse. Levi, too, told a few facts about himself - not too many, of course - and when they finally had to part ways, they decided to exchange phone numbers.

And right now, Levi was glad they did. A nurse knows everything about this gooey love stuff, right?

"Hello?" He heard on the other end.

"It's Levi," he informed. "And I'm gonna get straight to the point - I've got a hugeass problem. I'd tell you everything, but it's a shit lame story so I'm not gonna bother. I just need you to answer this question: how the fuck can you tell if you're in love with someone?" He didn't like saying that word - love - it's so cheesy. Actually, this whole situation was cheesy.

"Wow, that's very straight-forward of you." There was a pause, as if she had to think of how to answer Levi's question. "Well," she then started. "People react differently to being in love... I guess the person is just someone you trust-" Levi remembered how he'd told Eren about his friends, and what had happened to them. "-someone you wanna spend time with-" He remembered Erwin telling him that he spends a lot of time with Eren. Also Jean telling Marco, and Reiner on the bus... "-and makes you feel all kinds of feelings." The confusion, anger, irritation, emberrassment... The sadness and the worry... Desperation... There had been so many feelings involved, without Levi realizing it. "And it could also lead to some physical reactions, such as a tingling stomach or a pounding heart." How many times had his heart started pounding while around Eren? Two? Three? "Maybe some cold sweating and nerves while around the other... Or trembling... Hesitation... That kind of stuff..." At least he hadn't experienced that... Well, not yet, anyway... In other words, there was still evidence that Levi was  _not_ in love with Eren. Because he couldn't be, right?

"Are you still there?" She asked after a moment of silence. Levi had been so busy thinking of the symptoms he'd been given, so he hadn't even replied.

"Yeah, I'm here," he said weakly.

"I'm sorry for asking, but... Have you never been in love?"

"I've never been a huge fan of that kind of stuff... I'd rather keep to myself..." Levi was sure Petra knew what was up - after all, she was a nurse. It wouldn't be too hard to figure out, either; you don't ask for advice if you don't need it.

Sure enough, she knew exactly what was up.

"I say you show this person what's in your mind," she told him. "You'll know at once where your true feelings lay."

*****

"Are you okay, Levi?" Eren asked. They were training, and to tell the truth, Levi wasn't feeling too well. The nerves had started to kick in (which was another one of Petra's symptoms), and he couldn't really focus. Obviously, Eren had noticed this.

"Sure, I'm fine, why?" What else was he supposed to say?

"You're acting a little strange..." Of course he was acting strange; Today, he was going to discover his true feelings (as cliché as it sounds), and he was fearing that he might  _actually_ be in love with Eren.

 _I'm not,_ he told himself.  _Erwin is wrong, and so is Hanji. I'm gonna prove them wrong._

He was just being paranoid - he was sure of it. He couldn't possibly be in love with Eren. Levi hated love, and he was not going to let those feelings get to him. He was sure that once he'd proven to himself that he was  _not_  in love, he would stop overthinking. This had to be done.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look pale," Eren pointed out.

Levi looked at the boy standing in front of him, and before he even knew it, his heart was drumming in his chest. His throat felt all dry and tight - he couldn't get any words out. He'd never felt this way.

 _Calm the fuck down_ , he thought, closing his eyes for a second or two. He took a deep breath, and then he stepped forward.  _It's just a little peck on the cheek._  He'd never been good handling his own feelings, so he tended to shut them out. This time, however, it was impossible.

"L-Levi?" The boy stuttered, looking quite shocked, to tell the truth, and took half a step back. Levi wasn't sure what his own facial expression looked like - probably tired - but all the paranoia and overthinking and nerves had made his body start trembling. Eren must have thought he was about to beat him up or something.

Levi stood right in front of Eren, arms crossed, staring calmly at the boy, and found himself examining his facial features. Eyes, nose, lips, jawline, cheekbones... Everything.

 _Am I really gonna kiss that?_ He was not sure if this was a forced thought or if he really meant it, but it was none of his concern. He placed his right hand behind Eren's head (pushing him slightly down towards him), and then he decided to  _just do it_.

He wasn't quite sure what happened after that. Maybe it was the adrenaline that had messed it up. Maybe it was the nerves, or the paranoia. Levi couldn't had done this by his own choice. He was supposed to give him a peck on the cheek - he had aimed for a peck on the cheek - so why was it that his lips had locked with Eren's?

It took Levi a few seconds to realize what he had done. He intended to pull away, but it was as if he had lost control over his body. For some odd reason, he just couldn't back off, and therefore he kept moving his lips against Eren's. The boy responded shortly after, and he started caressing Levi's hair while deepening the kiss.. And Levi let him.

His lips were so soft... And the taste was so... Unique, in a good way. Also, Levi had never realized how well Eren smelt. He inhaled deeply, allowing that scent to fill his nostrils, and it was like a drug. Levi couldn't quite tell what he smelt like, he just knew it smelt  _great_.

The kiss only went deeper and grew more passionate.. And when the tongues started to play along, that's when Levi snapped out of it.

 _Shit_ _!_  He threw himself off Eren, regretting everything he'd done. How could he have allowed that to happen?

"What's wrong?" Eren asked, sounding slightly offended. What a silly question. Eren didn't understandthe struggle. He couldn't - He'd never expirienced what Levi had. He wouldn't be able to see how Levi was battling his own mind, trying so desperately not to get attached.

"Tch," he scoffed, forcing his mind back into dread and disgust. "Stupid brat."

"Huh?" Eren straightened up, shooting Levi a quite irritated glance. "What did  _I_ do?!" To be honest, Levi didn't even know what Eren had done. He just wasn't used to feeling stressed out, and really, the situation was extremely stressful from Levi's side. "It was  _your_ act, and you just led me on! You don't even care, do you?! You were just testing me! You're just using me because I like-!..." He stopped himself from saying it, even though they both were fully aware of Eren's little crush.

"At least you didn't like me in kindergarten!" It had slipped out before Levi could stop himself. Eren didn't reply at first. His anger had vanished and been replaced with a blank look on his face. He looked up at the man after a few more speechless seconds.

"Kindergarten? But... If you're my age then how are you working here?" Wow, he got it all wrong. Levi could have easily talked himself out of this one, but he stuck to the truth this time. This probably wasn't the right time to tell a lie, anyway.

"I was not there as a child, I fucking  _worked_ there, you dumbass."

"Huh? But you... That's..." Eren turned away and started counting on his fingers. "But it's so long ago.. I mean, you can't... If you worked back then..." He paused, looking back at Levi with a look in disbelief. "Levi, how... How old  _are_  you?" The man blinked a few times, then took a deep breath.

"Thirty-four," he responded, and watched as the boy's eyes widened in shock.

"And you never said anything, you just let me-! ... And you just-! ... You led me on like that...!" Eren hung his head, looking so defeated.

"What the fuck does my age matter?"

"You're more than twice my age, and you kept that a secret... Like you were testing me... Did you really just...?" Levi could see the tears rolling down his cheeks now, but none of them moved. For a short moment, Levi actually considered telling him the reason as of why he'd treated him like trash up until now. But then again, it was a long story.

"How can you be so cold hearted?" Eren spoke weakly, then his head shot back up, and he looked angrier than Levi had ever seen him. "You just toyed around with me, didn't you?!" Eren rushed forward and pushed Levi, and he was so much stronger now than he usually was. Levi remained standing, though. The tears were streaming down the boy's face as he yelled, "You bastard!" He then ran off, grabbing his backpack in the process. After he slammed the library door behind him, Levi stood alone in the library.

At first, he didn't feel anything, but then he realized that this was too similar to the dream he'd had that night. And now Eren was gone - angry with Levi, and done. Completely done. In other words, Levi  _had_ lost him, without intending to. Why does this  _always_ happen to Levi?

It was as if a switch had been flipped, because suddenly, Levi turned sharply and ripped a whole bunch of books from the closest shelf he could reach. He yelled loudly, and watched as all the books crashed to the floor, and then he ripped out more books, throwing them as hard as he could against the wall while continuously grunting and half yelling. Then finally, the library went silent.

So maybe Levi did care about Eren. Maybe he cared a lot. He was pretty sure where his true feelings lay now - Levi would  _never_ get this emotional, or go this berserk, without a proper reason. But what did it matter now? Eren was done...

 _Fuck no_ , Levi thought before breaking into a run towards the exit.  _I'm not losing him too._

The only thing that kept him running was the desperation. He wasn't going to let Eren go that easily. So where did Levi head? The bus stop, of course. When he got there, however, a problem occurred; Eren wasn't there.

There were many people, but none of them were Eren - Levi even double checked everyone's faces just to be sure. So if Eren wasn't there, then where was he?

 _No fucking way_ , Levi thought as realization hit him.

The underground station.


	18. Happiness Doesn't Last Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains spoilers from the Shingeki no Kyojin manga, Chapter 69. Read at own risk.
> 
> If you do not want to read this chapter due to the spoilers, you can jump to the end of the chapter and read the spoiler-free summary

_That idiot!_ _What the hell is he thinking_ _?!_ Levi couldn't believe Eren had went to the underground station, out of all places. He hoped he was wrong - that Eren hadn't went there - but he knew he had. Eren was heading home, and the only available transport at this time was the bus and the underground train.  _I better not be too late_.

Sure enough, when he turned the next corner and entered the stairway to the underground station, he saw Eren... And he wasn't alone.

In front of him stood nobody else than the greasy man from the week before - the one that had lured Petra with him. He was holding onto Eren's shoulders, staring into his eyes, and speaking words Levi couldn't hear. It was still early, yet this man had decided to come out and commit another crime. At this thought, Levi's anger grew.

"Eren!" He yelled and sped up. Eren and the greasy man both snapped their eyes onto Levi, as if startled, and the greasy man looked beyond terrified, obviously recognizing Levi. He pushed Eren off and desperately ran further into the station. This was the second - no, third time - that this man had attempted to lure a victim with him. Levi couldn't let him get away.

The man was an old wreck, and he didn't run too fast, so Levi quickly caught up with him. He grabbed him by his dirty, torn up jacket and yanked him backwards, having him fall to the ground and hit his head.

"How  _dare_ you show your ugly face out here again?!" He yelled at the old man. He also came to notice that there were more people in the station, - three young men, an older man with blond hair and beard stubs, a woman with brown, shoulder-lenght hair, and two teenagers Levi recognized as Marlo and Hitch, from class 2B. Levi grabbed the greasy man by the collar and forced direct eye contact, then he clenched his right hand into a fist. "You fucking disgust me..." He was ready to hit him - he was just  _about_ to hit him - but then Eren grabbed hold of his forearm.

"Levi!" He half yelled, and it was as if the world froze for a moment. Levi didn't do anything - nor did Eren. They could hear people muttering behind their backs.

"Should we call the police?"

"What is happening?"

"Somebody should step in."

The greasy man saw the chance, and he took it. Suddenly, he had torn himself loose from Levi's grip and stumbled to his feet towards the group of people waiting for the train. Levi was too lost in the silence to react at once, but when he did, the man had pushed the people out of his way and jumped onto the tracks, running along them. People stared and kept muttering and whispering.

 _Shit, I let him get away_ , Levi thought. He felt some sort of hatred towards himself for letting the man get away, but his hatred for the man himself was much stronger.

"When the police gets hold of this case, you're dead meat," a man spoke to him, an obvious load of confidence in his voice. Levi turned slightly, only to look at the man speaking to him; wrinkles, light brown hair, and an undercut. "By the looks of it, that man didn't even do anything, and you're just being a-"

"Oluo," another guy said - a blond haired guy with his hair pulled back in a bun - and put his hand on the other's shoulder. "It's enough."

"Hah? This is not something we should let slide - we've got the police on our side, anyway." This time it was this Oluo-guy's turn to get grabbed by the collar. His facial expression went from confident to pleading within the next second, as he realized what a mistake he had committed.

"Do you really think the police will give a shit?" Levi asked. "The underground society is a dangerous and criminal society, and the police knows they're down here, but do they do anything about it? Fuck no, they don't. The police does a shit job protecting the people, and if they wanna charge me for how I've treated the underground society, then they can go ahead. I don't fucking care." As he stopped talking, he could hear a sound roaring in the distance, growing louder by every second. Everyone else had noticed, too, and stared into the dark tunnels where the tracks led - everyone looking slightly shocked.

Levi let go of Oluo's collar as he realized it was a train they were hearing.

But there was no way the greasy man had reached the underground people's tunnel already...

Levi got this confirmed as the train crawled into sight, with a nasty amount of blood on its front. People gasped loudly, some looking away in horror.

 _He didn't get away after all_.

Levi turned and started walking towards the stairway, looking back only when he saw that Eren didn't follow - he was too busy staring at the train in disbelief.

"Eren," Levi then called out, and the boy snapped out of it. "Are you coming or not?" He turned back around and continued walking. It was up to Eren now, if he wanted to go with Levi or stay where he was. But after a short moment of hesitation, Eren gave in, and he caught up with Levi. Maybe he wasn't so angry with him after all.

*****

"Don't you think you went a bit overboard?" Eren asked once they reached Levi's apartment, and Levi sat down by his dinner table. "He only begged for money, he didn't do anything forceful.."

"He was one of the perverts from last week.. It's likely that he took part in abusing Farlan and Isabel, too..." Levi clenched his fist thinking of this, and glared at the floor. Eren, too, sat down by the dinner table, and Levi looked up at him, carefully.

"It sounds like everything you do is because of what happened to them."

"No, I don't do things because of what happened to them - I do things because the world is a fucked up place to live in. I've seen a lot of shit happen throughout my life, and I don't want that to happen to people I care about, so I'd rather not care too much."

"In other words, you act like an asshole because you've lost your friends?" The tone in his voice was slightly harsh by now, as if Levi's words had pissed him off.

"I sometimes act like an asshole because I'm stressed out, and the nicer I am, the more likely am I to get attached."

"So you don't care how  _I_ feel when you treat  _me_ like trash?!" Eren was yelling by now, and Levi yelled back at him.

"I don't like discussing my past,  _okay_?! It's not easy talking about something you want to  _forget_! These last four weeks have been nothing but a  _reminder_ of those times!" Why did they always end up yelling at each other?

"So you're just gonna treat me like I'm worthless without having a reason?! You're selfish, do you realize that?! You're not the only one who's lost someone!" Levi slammed his fist onto the table and leaned forward in his chair - and Eren startled.

"Don't you think I know that?! You've lost your mother, right? And your father is gone? But guess what, Eren, I don't even know who my father is! And you know what happened to my mother? She and I were locked up in a room when I was a child, only given food any other day! Actaully, my mother gave me all the food because there wasn't enough to keep us both alive! On top of that, she got sick, and she died lying in the only bed we were provided with!" Levi lowered his voice now. "If the cause of death was the illness or starvation, I will never know. Nobody even cared to check in on us regulary, so I was in there with her dead body for several days until it was discovered that she had died." He paused, staring at Eren's shocked and upset expression, and then he continued, "After that, my uncle took me in and taught me how to fight. He taught me that fighting was the only way to survive in this world - and he wasn't wrong. At that point, I had hope. I was sure that he would raise me as his own and take care of me, that we would become family. That was until one day, when he just walked away from me on the streets, without even saying goodbye. Do you have any idea what it's like to be left behind? To feel unwanted?" Levi paused, as if waiting for an answer, but all he got in response were some tears escaping the corners of Eren's eyes. Levi then leaned back, breaking eye contact. "Then there's Farlan and Isabel.. Losing them was the worst, because I did everything I could to avoid it. I was sure that I could protect them, make sure they stayed alive. I wanted what was best for them because I was not up for losing them too... But I did... All the people I've ever held close - I've lost  _all of them_. I don't think I'm meant to be happy, and therefore... I've given up on it. If I ever do find happiness, I'm only gonna get torn apart again, one way or another. After all, happiness doesn't last forever."

"So that's why you're pushing me away," Eren spoke, this time weakly, and Levi nodded. "I see... But I'm still..." Eren shook his head, hesitating. "Sorry, I'm terrible at this..." He frowned at himself, and a blush appeared in-between the tears. "But I'm in love with you, Levi, and I... I feel bad about it now... I wasn't even supposed to say anything..." he hung his head, sounding so defeated, then he wiped his eyes. "I'm terribly sorry..."

"It's not your fault," Levi assured him. "But it's not my fault, either. It's just something that happened, and I don't think there's anything we could've done differently to prevent it from happening."

"Maybe I should get going," Eren then spoke, getting off the chair, but Levi stopped him.

"Do you really think I'm gonna just let you go after that careless act of yours?" Eren looked back at the man, a questioning look in his eyes. "You knew the underground station was a dangerous place to go alone, but you went there anyway - that's a careless act. I don't think you're capable of defending yourself when something happens, either - not yet, anyway." There was a tiny hint of annoyance in the boy's eyes, but Levi knew he understood. 

"Well, then what do you suggest I do?"

"You stay here, of course - It's not like it's your first time spending the night on my couch."

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

> **Spoiler-free summary:**
> 
> **Levi found Eren in the underground station, along with the greasy man that lured Petra with him the week before. Long story short - the man got away, but got hit by the incoming train. Levi took Eren home with him, then he** **told the student the story of his life, answering the question as of why he'd been pushing him away** **(he's terrified of losing him one way or another and once again get broken).** **After that, Eren saw the situation from Levi's point of view, and he understood. He got up and were just about to leave, but Levi didn't let him - No, he's staying the night.**

 


	19. A Night With Eren

Levi was half asleep when his bedroom door opened, and Eren peeked in.

"Levi?" He whispered, checking if the man was awake or not. When Levi didn't reply, Eren stepped into the room and poked his shoulder. "Levi," he repeated, and this time, the man rolled over, glaring at him.

"What," he said aggressivly, and Eren looked sort of startled.

"Erm.. I don't have a blanket or anything..." That's right, Levi had forgotten about that - Eren was supposed to be sleeping on the couch, but Levi hadn't given him any covers.

For a second he thought he had to get up, but on the other hand, he was way too comfortable in his bed. If he was to get up now, he would have to get comfortable all over again. And he probably wouldn't be sleepy when he got back to bed either.

"Forget it," he murmured, rolling back onto his side and closing his eyes. "You can just... Sleep here or something..." Levi could only imagine the look on Eren's face as he said that.

"H-Here?" He asked carefully. "Do you really want me to-"

"Just  _go to sleep_."

Eren stood there in silence for quite some time, probably debating over whether or not he should get in the bed. Levi was sure he'd chicken out, but soon enough, he heard him shuffle around in the room, and then he crawled into the bed and under the covers. Levi could swear he felt the stare Eren was giving him.

"Are you sure you-"

"Eren," Levi spoke in irritation, opening his eyes to once again glare at the boy. "Sleep." Eren obeyed this command by closing his eyes, and he didn't say anything else to Levi.

So finally, Levi drifted to sleep.

*****

In the middle of the night, Levi awoke. Nevermind the reason - what matters (or doesn't matter) is what happened while he was awake.

After failing to fall back asleep, Levi looked to his side, realizing that him having Eren sleep in his bed had not been a dream. He was really there, lying face down on the very edge of the bed, his right arm and foot hanging off it.

 _He's gonna fall off the damn bed_ , he thought. He couldn't let that happen, could he?

Of course not. He sat up, then leaned over and carefully rolled Eren onto his back, trying not to wake the boy up (because he didn't want that to happen, right?). Levi realized that his bed was not meant for two people to sleep in. There was plenty of space - it was a twin bed, after all - but it was a tight fit for two people. Surely Eren would roll back onto the edge of the bed (or even off it) in his sleep.

Levi's solution was pretty simple; Laying back, he crept his arm underneath Eren's neck, then rolled him onto his side. The boy was now facing Levi, lying with his head resting on the librarian's shoulder. Next, he placed his hand on the boy's waist, making the position more secure, to avoid Eren from rolling back out of it.

Eren started moving, and at first Levi thought he had awakened him, but this was not the case. Levi didn't take his eyes off him, just in case he would wake up, and then came the murmurs.

"Lee..." It was a weak, little murmur escaping Eren's lips, and Levi himself could barely even hear it. "Lee...." It sounded like a baby speaking its first word - or at least attempting. He seemed to be struggling, anyway. "Vai...." Levi had to think twice before realizing what the murmurs meant. Levi. His name. Eren's eyebrows twitched, then he pushed them together. His lips were trembling by every sound that escaped. He must have been having a bad dream. "Le... Vi..." This only reminded the man of Eren struggling to call his name, covered in blood and unable to stand on his own two feet. At that moment, Levi wanted nothing more than to keep Eren safe. He got a sudden urge to hold the boy tighter - and so he did. He pulled Eren closer, hugging him tightly. Whatever made Eren feel safer. And Eren didn't make a sound after that.

Levi closed his eyes, being able to clearly smell Eren's scent, and shortly after, that's what he fell asleep to.

*****

_It was just a regular day - Levi and Eren started off by cleaning the library, and then proceeded to their training. Eren was quite good by now, and he kept making improvements by every training session._

_Dodge. Hit. Duck. Grab. Twist. Everything happened so fast, and Levi was impressed by Eren's quick thinking. Move. Push. Kick. Dodge. Eren was doing fine, and Levi knew what that meant; He had to go harder on him._

_Eren dodged the first hit, but Levi grabbed easily hold of him the next moment, and slammed him into the bookshelf behind him with a loud thud. After that, Levi just let himself go. He crashed his lips into Eren's, and it instantly turned into a battle between tongues. A soft moan escaped the young boy in-between the wet kisses, and Levi allowed his fingers to entwine with the other's. They moved even closer together, so close that Levi could swear he felt the boy's heart beating, and then he broke the kiss, moving onto Eren's neck. Eren obviously tried keeping it quiet, but the soft moans could still be heard between every one of Levi's passionate kisses. The man's hands found their way down to the young boy's waist, and not until now did Eren speak._

_"Levi," He spoke, but instead of responding, Levi just kept moving his kisses down the neck, holding Eren in his loving embrace. "I love you."_

_At this, Levi stopped dead in his tracks, unable to do anything. He wanted to say something back - he really did - but he just couldn't. He couldn't even continue the kissing. He was completely frozen, and when he opened his eyes, he lay in his bed._

Levi found that his fingers were entwined with Eren's. The boy was still sleeping in the position Levi had put him into that night. Everything seemed to be in order.

Or, wait a minute... There was something that wasn't there before, and Levi was sure of what it was. 

He looked down and lifted the covers. Knowing himself, he knew exactly what to expect, and his expectations weren't wrong; There was a bulge. Of course, there wasn't too much to do about that, and therefore, with a sigh, Levi got up from bed. But in full honesty, this was the first time he'd gotten a boner over someone as young as Eren. After all, he was no pervert.


	20. Morning Coffee

It didn't take too long for Eren to get up. Levi was readying his morning coffee when the boy exited the bedroom, yawning and running his hand through his now messy hair. Instead of wishing him a good morning, Levi thought he'd give him something to drink. 

"Coffee or tea?" He simply asked, and it almost seemed to startle the teenager. He looked almost confused, as if he hadn't understood the very simple question.

"I've actually never tasted coffee before... Is it good?"

"I personally prefer tea, but coffee comes with the benefit of keeping you awake."

"I guess coffee, then..."

So of course, Levi started brewing coffee for his guest, too. While doing so, he started off asking Eren how he'd slept. What did he say? He had a bad dream at first, but other than that he'd slept quite well, and Levi couldn't help but memorize how he'd pulled Eren close that night.

It only took a few minutes for the coffee to be ready, and Levi watched as the younger boy took his first sip. He could tell that he didn't like it - at least not at first - but he drank it anyway. It turned out that Eren and coffee was a terrible combination (in Levi's opinion). It started off with some everyday talk, wheras Eren was just very talkative, but as the conversation went on, Levi found that this was more of a rant from Eren's side than a conversation. As he finished drinking, it had somehow turned into a rant about  _pigeons,_ and shortly after he started pacing, not being able to sit still anymore.

Levi tried ignoring him, and plumped down on his couch with one of his books, and not until now did Eren realize that Levi had no interest in his ranting. But did that stop Eren? For a moment, yes, but within the next five minutes, things turned for the worse; he had figured out how to work Levi's home stereo, and the next thing Levi knew, the boy was dancing the Macarena to Nicki Minaj's  _'Starships'_.

Eren reacted worse to coffee than Hanji did to alcohol (last time he saw her drinking, she was upset because dinosaurs didn't speak english. But then again, it's  _Hanji_ ).

"Come on, Levi, come dance with me!" Eren requested happily.

"I don't dance," the man simply answered, not taking his eyes off the book he was reading. "Also why the hell are you doing the Macarena?"

"If you don't dance then how do you know about the Macarena?" Levi raised his eyebrows, shooting Eren a glance that said  _'do you really think I'm stupid?'_.

"I'm not an idiot." he pointed out, then stated, "Caffeine makes you annoying as fuck."

"Oh yeah?" Without a warning, Eren jumped into the couch from behind, landing across it with his head placed firmly in Levi's lap. "Then why are you smiling?" Wait, was he? Levi pursed his lips, forcing his neutral facial expression.

"I'm not," the man tried, but the younger one's smile just widened, and he lay there in silence, just looking up at the other until he turned the page of his book. 

"You have a nice smile," Eren finally spoke, not daring to take his eyes off the man. "I don't see why you'd wanna hide it."

"And I don't see how I fell for a brat like you." Suddenly, Eren's expression snapped into seriousness, but his eyes lit up like a thousand stars.

"You've fallen for me?" Instead of answering the question, Levi rolled his eyes, then he slapped his hand onto Eren's face and squeezed his cheeks together.

"Shut up," he spoke, finding that he actually didn't deny a thing. At this point, though, he'd stopped caring. It didn't matter to him anymore whether he liked Eren or not. Besides, he'd figured that over-dramatizing something silly like this was just a waste of time. He either liked Eren, or he didn't. He knew by now, though, that losing Eren was not an option. No, he was gonna keep him safe, and Levi had already promised himself that, without even realizing it. 

Suddenly, the around two-second silence were cut off by someone banging on the door, as if demanding to be let in. Levi slid his glance over to Eren, and the boy then sat up, allowing the other to leave the couch and open the door. 

Levi wasn't the slightest surprised to find that it was Mikasa and Armin who stood outside, Mikasa not looking happy at all. 

"Is Eren here?" She asked, as if the answer was obvious.

"Mikasa?" Eren piped up from behind Levi's back, then joined the group by the front door. "What are you doing here?" He didn't sound angry like he usually would. Actually, he sounded neutral. Mikasa, however, ignored the question and grabbed him by the wrist immediately.

"You're coming home  _now,"_ she demanded, sounding like an angry mother.

"What? Why?"

"This is the second night you're spending with  _him_ , and I don't trust it."

"I can take care of myself, Mikasa, and he's not a bad guy!" But Mikasa just glared at him, obviously telling him to listen to her. "Armin?" Eren asked for assistance, but Armin's words didn't have much of an effect.

"Mikasa, don't you think-"

"How can I be sure that he hasn't hurt him?" She cut the blonde off, desperate to prove her point.

"I don't judge you for not trusting me," Levi stepped in, and suddenly, all eyes were on him. "But what if what you're doing is triggering your brother's happiness?" 

"He's not my brother," She corrected him.

"Then what does your judgement matter? Isn't he to decide for himself what to do?"

"I have to protect him!" She snapped, yanking Eren her way.

"And what makes you think I can't do that?"

"I don't need anyone to protect me!" Eren insisted. "I'm my own person! And you might not trust Levi, but I do, Mikasa!" The girl's gaze fell to the floor, and Levi was interested to see what Eren would say next. He was glad to hear that the boy didn't let anyone be in charge of his life - it was a good sign. "You're not the boss of me, so stop acting as if I'm your property! I'm  _nobody's_  property! Thanks to Levi, I know self defense, so if you think I'm completely helpless if something happens, you're  _wrong_!" Levi could almost hear the echo of Eren's shouts, but at last, the discussion had fallen to a dead silence. Mikasa didn't say anything, and Armin just shifted his gaze between the three other parts. Finally, Levi decided to put this to an end.

"Eren, just go home," he spoke, looking at nothing in particular.

"I'd like to stay here, though."

"And I'd like to read, but since you're affected by caffeine, that seems to be impossible." This was just an excuse to get him out. Levi didn't actually want him to leave, but both Eren and Mikasa were overreacting, so he figured it was better to have Eren leave instead of causing conflict between them. Besides, Levi had figured by now that Mikasa would literally risk her life to protect Eren. She was overreacting, yes, but at least she would keep him safe. It seemed that she cared much more about him, than he did about her. 

Instead of replying, Eren just nodded, then went to pick up his backpack by the couch. He gave Levi a weak smile as he passed him again.

"See you on monday," he then spoke, and the three walked away. 

Shutting the door behind him, Levi returned to his couch and pulled his book back up for reading, but right now, all he could think of was Mikasa and Eren. Yeah, Mikasa would keep him safe - she couldn't even trust Levi because he spent so much time with him. She sounded almost jealous, but at least she could keep him safe. 

Looks like that was the one thing Levi and Mikasa had in common.


	21. Rumors

The following Monday turned out to be rather interesting.

The library had its usual amount of visitors, but for some odd reason, all of them could barely take their eyes off Levi (I mean, who would? Levi is bammin slammin bootylicious!) and whispering things to each other. Levi could feel constant stares, but didn't bother asking why they were staring in the first place.

Heck, even at lunch, the  _teachers_  would stare at him and whisper. At this point, he was very willing to ask what everyone was staring at, but he didn't have to.

"LEVI!" Hanji yelled the moment she spotted him, then pulled him over to the couch where them and Erwin always sat. "Is it true?" She had lowered her voice now, but she sounded extremely excited.

"Is what true?" Levi asked, rolling his eyes. Hanji and Erwin exchanged a short look, then the historian teacher leaned in.

"Everyone's talking about it.. You and Eren.. Is it true that you're official now?" Levi's heart skipped a beat.

"What? Where the fuck did you hear that?" Eren must have started this. Who else would know about them? Sure, some people believed, but Eren  _knew_.

"It started off in class 2B, I think, but everyone's talking about you two by now - even the  _teachers_!" Wait, class 2B? But who..?

Hitch.

Marlo and Hitch had been in the underground station that Friday, and they saw the whole scene with the greasy man and all. Marlo wasn't the kind of person to spread rumors, but Hitch? She would do anything that could raise her profile - starting a rumor like this was nothing.

"What exactly does this rumor say?" He then asked.

"Hmm... the focus is mainly aimed at the relationship between you and Eren Jaeger.. I heard mentions of a fight, and that you ran off with Eren." There was a pause.

"It wasn't quite like that," Levi then muttered back.

"More importantly," Erwin spoke up. "Someone got killed that day." He aimed his gaze at the librarian, staring him down. "I happen to have an acquaintance who witnessed the scene." Levi gritted his teeth and looked away, crossing his arms.

"It's not my fault that man died - I didn't tell him to get hit by a train. Besides, the underground society is ten times more fucked up than I am. They're criminal and dangerous and the police just let them walk around freely. The world is better without those bastards, and you can't tell me otherwise." Erwin would understand - he was very wise, after all.

Everyone was still staring at them, trying to hear what the three had to say about the rumor, but Levi was convinced they couldn't hear what was being said.

"Very well," Erwin responded. See? Wise. He would make a great principal.

Oh right, Levi had almost forgotten!

"About your offer," he spoke, getting up from the couch as he continued, "I accept." He then left the two teachers to make himself a cup of tea.

It was official now - He was going to teach Physical Education from next term on.

*****

"Have people asked you about the rumors yet?" Eren asked while cleaning that day.

"Only Hanji.. Surely you've heard a lot about it?"

"Yeah, I don't know what to tell them..." Levi lowered his dust cleaner, thinking. He hadn't actually answered Hanji, either. What even was the answer? What was the state of their relationship? They weren't a couple, no, but... They weren't not, either... Or...?

Levi wasn't even sure. But why was everyone so eager to know? Did they have nothing better to talk about than the relationship between the two? Maybe they were a couple, or maybe not, but that was no one else's business. 

"Eren, do you trust me?" He pulled down his face mask and walked up to the young boy. Eren turned to look at him, and answered almost immediately.

"Y-yes! I-I do!" He, too, pulled down his face mask, a determined and courageous look glowing in his eyes.

"Good... As long as we have trust in each other, and are willing to spend time with each other, there is no need to categorize our relationship. We simply care and trust, and that's what's important." Eren watched as the man was speaking, and held his gaze there for a few more seconds.

"So you mean we're never gonna become a couple?"

"If you look up what it means to be a couple, I'm pretty sure we already qualify as one." He took a step closer towards the teenager, slowly. "But relationships are developed over time, not by the ask of a question. Even if we decided to pop the question now, it wouldn't change a thing. In other words, labeling our relationship status would be unnecessary." 

Levi half expected a reply, but he got none. They stood there in silence (a beautiful silence, I might add), looking at each other's relaxed expressions. They'd grown so close over the last couple of weeks. Levi may not have liked him at first, but now? In full honesty, Eren meant a lot to him now. If Pixis hadn't made him responsible for Eren's punishment, would they ever have gotten to know each other?

Finally, Eren, too, stepped forward, and Levi could clearly see what he was going for moments before it happened; Eren kissed him. It was just a peck before pulling back, but Levi got a handful of butterflies dancing in his stomach from it. He'd missed that feeling - the feeling of Eren's lips against his own. And therefore, at that moment, there was no hesitation.

Levi grabbed onto the waist of the younger, and crashed his lips back into his. He detected a slight amount of shock from Eren's side, but that vanished within the next second. Eren's arms flung around the man's neck, so that they were now tangled together. It all happened so fast.

The kisses were wet, passionate, a complete turn-on from Levi's side. He found that his tongue took part in the kiss, and before he even knew it, their tongues were dancing in each other's mouths. It wasn't a soundless kiss, either; they were both letting out soft moans every now and then. 

Levi's hands moved around underneath Eren's shirt, and they quickly broke the kiss to throw it off. It was getting hot in here.

He wasn't quite sure how it happened - maybe Eren just stumbled over his own feet - but they fell. Levi half expected it to ruin the moment, but it didn't - not at all. The two continued kissing passionately as their fingers entwined on the floor, and within seconds, Levi sat shirtless on top of the other. He was cupping the boy's face, deepening the kiss and hearing the other's moans in response. His heart was beating so fast, and he moved his left hand down the boy's stomach, and then down to his crotch. What he felt was the beginning of an erection, and his member felt quite big for someone his age. Eren's continuous moans as Levi rubbed his crotch, it made him excited. 

He raised his head, separating their lips and tongues. The saliva still had them connected, and they both opened their eyes just enough to look at the person they were about to make love to. It was a beautiful sight.

Levi lowered his head again to have another taste of those sweet lips of Eren's, and the boy inhaled sharply as he did. The drug-like scent of Eren seemed to get stronger by every breath Levi took. Eren had one hand on Levi's back, and the other caressing his raven hair.

The man went from stroking the teen's crotch to unbuckling his belt, and the feeling was indescribable. Eren just let him do this, not saying a word against it...

For a split second, a disturbing image struck Levi, and his mind took a sharp turn. He had to break the kiss and look away, frozen in his tracks. He felt like what he was doing was wrong. Eren wasn't doing much - was he even comfortable in this situation? People get sexually abused, just like his friends... Sexual contact with a 15-year old... It was no better, was it?

"What's wrong?" Eren asked, having noticed the odd pause of action, and Levi wasn't quite sure what to reply. The moment was ruined by now - continuing now would be stupid. Levi shook his head.

"Nothing," he then spoke, carefully, and withdrew his hands. The mood was long gone. "Let's get back to cleaning." Levi got off of Eren, standing up.

Actually, Eren looked slightly disappointed. Maybe he hadn't felt uncomfortable, or maybe he had just wanted Levi to get it his way.. It was hard to tell for sure what Eren felt about this - it wasn't exactly a topic they discussed openly. 

Anyhow, soon enough, he muttered a little  _okay_ , and pushed himself back up from the floor. He re-buckled his belt and put his shirt back on, then returned to the bookshelves. Levi eyed him.

Sure, Levi had chosen to stop what was started, but... He knew very well, that he'd actually wanted to proceed. Of course he did, he just didn't want to hurt Eren the way his friends had been...


	22. Watch Me

The rumors were still running strong the next day (Friday). At this point, a lot of the teachers had asked Levi about it, but he had done his best either talking himself out of it or ignoring it. Hanji was by far the most annoying one - everyone else had decided to give Levi some space, but Hanji? She craved an answer, and no wasn't even good enough. Levi had in fact told her no before, but she called him a liar. This week had proven her to be way crazier than he had thought. At this point, though, ignoring her was difficult, seeing it had reached an extremely annoying stage.

"Levi!" She cried out in desperation. "When will you tell us the truth?!" Levi had been ignoring this all week, and saw no problem in ignoring it again. He kept his eyes glued to the book he was reading, and when he didn't answer, Hanji leaned over and whispered to Erwin, "It's true - it has to be!"

"Why would I tell you about my private life?" Levi then asked, staring at the current page without actually reading it.

"Because I'm your friend! If you don't want Erwin to hear it I can make him leave!" Erwin scoffed at this comment.

"Oh, Hanji, you're hardly more of a friend than I am," he told her with a firm smile. "Why don't you just let him do what he wants - you know he has trust issues." Hanji was just about to argue, but then Erwin added, "Who knows, maybe their love will blossom if you leave them alone." Wow, this was an extremely rare sight - Erwin Smith being  _sarcastic._

"Maybe, but then I WON'T WITNESS IT!" Hanji was obsessed, and it was almost laughable.

Levi could have taken his ignorance further, but he decided to put all this fuss to an end. This couldn't go on forever, anyway.

"So you just want to  _witness_  it, do you?" He asked, and the two teachers turned to pay attention to his words.

"Well I sure wanna see it for myself," the woman nodded, now with a curious look in her eyes. "You're so cute together!" Levi slapped the book shut and rose from the chair. As he headed to leave the staff room, Hanji asked, "Where are you going?" She followed the man, eager to see what he was up to, and soon Erwin joined them.

Surely everyone else wanted to see it for themselves too. Eren hadn't said anything yet, and Levi had kept shut about it too. In other words, nobody actually knew what was going on between them (except maybe Armin.. And no, Eren probably hadn't told Mikasa, because let's be honest - she'd flip).

"Is he gonna prove it?" Hanji asked Erwin, then gasped in excitement. "Is he gonna  _kiss him_?!" Well, that was also an option...

Levi entered the cafeteria, where the students sat eating their lunch. He stood by the entrance for a short while, scanning the room, and the loud, constant talking grew silent, the students noticing Levi. People also looked at Eren, who sat by a table in the very back of the room, alone with Mikasa, Armin, Connie and Sasha. Eren himself looked quite confused to say the least.

"How many of you wants to know the truth about Eren and I?" Levi asked, crossing his arms. Some people started murmuring to each other, some shook their heads, some nodded... A few raised their hands in confirmation.

"Did you really start a fight?" Someone said out loudly, directing the question at Levi, and then the questions came pouring in.

"Is it true that Jaeger is gay?"

"How big is the age gap?"

"Who tops?" A girl asked, rather quietly, but suddenly everyone was laughing at a brunette 3rd grade student sitting with her friends, her face bright red in emberrassment.

"Let me start off by telling you that going underground  _alone_ , is one of the  _stupidest_ things you can do," Levi spoke, eyeing Eren, then started moving further into the room. "There are people down there who wants to abuse and kill you. The man I started a fight with was one of those people."

"Get to the point," some student commented, and Levi turned around, glaring at the student who'd made this comment; Ymir. "Are you and Eren going out or what?" The man rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, sure, why the fuck not." A couple of cheers and some  _'_ _I knew it'_ s were heard, but there was not too much surprise in the air. Some groans in disapproval were heard too, but honestly, fuck whoever those came from.

Jean Kirsten let out a loud scoff.

"Didn't know Jaeger was interested in older men!" He barked, rather mockingly. Eren stood up, glaring at his classmate.

"Shut up  _Horse-Face_!" He barked back at him, and Jean went from playful to annoyed, rushing towards the other boy.

"I'M  _NOT_ A HORSE YOU SHORT-TEMPERED  _IDIOT_!" He pushed Eren harshly, and Eren pushed back.

"THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP ACTING LIKE ONE!" Had Levi triggered this chaos?

"You didn't sound too sure," came Ymir's voice, once again directed at Levi. "You sure you're going out?"

"Aren't you gonna do anything?" Reiner asked him through the loud chaos.

"Mikasa,  _wait_ ," Levi heard Armin beg, and when he looked, the girl was glaring at him, held back by Armin.

"What do you mean you're going outwith Eren,  _Shorty_?" She asked the man, sounding extremely angry. "He's only  _fifteen_ , you  _can't_ go out with him! I won't let you!"

 _Fuck it,_ he thought, before responding with the first thing he could think of.

"Watch me," he told her clearly, then stepped forward, breaking up the mini fight before him.

"YOU'RE ALWAYS SO-" Eren was cut off as the man yanked him off by his clothing and smacked their lips together.

Squeels and gasps were heard instantly, and suddenly the entire cafeteria was filled with a round applause and cheers and whistles. As the kiss broke, Eren flushed with the color red, and he covered his face with his hands. Levi looked back at Mikasa.

"You can say whatever you want, but in the end, it's up to Eren," he informed her calmly. "And for your information, I, too, want to keep him safe." Mikasa stared at him, and she seemed rather sad. She must have realized that she'd have to share Eren with someone for a change (Newsflash, though; he wasn't her property).

The bell rang, and the lunch was over. Levi headed back to where Hanji, Erwin, and now also a lot of other teachers, stood observing the uproar. Hanji couldn't contain her excitement, and was almost exploding with it as the librarian approached them.

"THAT WAS  _AMAZING_ , LEVI!!" She yelled, and Erwin gave him a friendly pat on the back.

*****

Later that day, after school hours, Eren showed up in the library with a wide smile across his face.

"What are you so happy about?" Levi asked, not expressing any type of emotion in particular.

"Oh, Nothing, I'm just happy to see my  _boyfriend_." That's the kind of cheesy talk Levi had hoped to avoid. He shook his head and threw Eren some Windex and a cloth.

"Get to work," he commanded, then went back to mopping the floor.

"You know, about that... This is the last day of my punishment." Wait... It's been five weeks already...?

"Then I'm expecting you to do a proper job by now."

"Oh come on, Levi, can't we hang out later on? We could play a game or something!"

"A  _game_?"

"Yes! Have you ever played Mario Kart?" Levi just glared at him, not even answering the question. "We could get it on the way to your place! It'll be fun!" Levi reached forward, patting the boy's head carefully, then went back to mopping the floor once again.

"You can come to my place... And if you clean well, we'll get that goddamn Mario Kart." Levi could swear he  _felt_  the excitement filling Eren as he said that. After all, he knew him well enough by now to know his reaction.


	23. You're right

Just as promised, Levi and Eren stopped by a game shop to get Mario Kart. It was meant to be a quick stop, but that was until they spotted Connie and Sasha in there. Levi already knew that they had a thing going on, but it came as a shocker to Eren that they were holding hands.

"I eat lunch with them almost every day," he told Levi quietly, almost whispering it. "I've known them for ages! How come I didn't know about them?" Eren was as good as spying on his two classmates from behind the shelf, but Levi was busy searching for the Mario Kart game. "I mean, I talk with Connie a lot, and I had  _no_ idea he had a thing for Sasha."  _Super Mario Kart, Mario Kart 64, Mario Kart wii, Mario Kart 8_... Which one were they getting? "They make a cute couple, though, I'm happy for them!"

"Will you shut up and come pick a game?" Eren snapped out of his little trance, and hurried over to where Levi stood. 

They ended up getting  _Mario Kart wii_  - by Eren's choice. Levi was sure that once Sasha and Connie got out of their sight, Eren would stop talking about them, but it turned out he was wrong.

" _Sasha_  and  _Connie_. I can't believe I haven't seen the potential before. Do you realize how many couples there are in our class only?" The boy started counting on his fingers. "Hannah and Franz, Christa and Ymir, Connie and Sasha, I'm with you..." He trailed off, as if not wanting to mention the next one.

"Bertholt and Reiner?" Levi suggested, assuming this was the remaining pairing.

"Heh... Yeah... About that..." The boy smiled awkwardly, and it grabbed Levi's attention. "Well... Armin and I went early to PE this Wednesday, and when we entered the locker rooms..." Eren scratched his head, breaking eye contact. "There were Bertholt and Reiner... Going at it..." The air was silent for the next two or three seconds, but then, Levi let out a chuckle, which led to him  _laughing_. He wasn't sure if it was the stupidity of it, or if it was Eren's awkward expression. Or maybe it was a forced laugh, because he had longed for a good laugh for such a long, long time. All he knew, was that it felt  _amazing_. He could see how Eren's face lit up as realization hit him, and he seemed to just be enjoying the sound of it; Levi was  _laughing_. 

"So they're  _fuckbuddies,_ " he then spoke in clarification, the laughter trailing off. Eren nodded, making no attempt in hiding his joy. He had gone from awkward to joyful in a matter of seconds, just from seeing Levi laugh, and it almost blew the man's mind. He'd never seen anyone getting this happy from someone else's laughter or smile. When he came to think of it, he did look quite pleased with himself when he saw Levi smile, too. 

Levi never thought he'd be able to relate to that gooey lovey kind of people, but... There he stood, finding someone else's happiness enjoyable. Yes, just Eren's smile - it was so enjoyable - and to think that he was smiling because of Levi? He had never actually expirienced anything similar.

What Erwin had said, was true; Levi  _had_  changed. But this was a very positive change - until now, he had forgotten what laughing and smiling felt like. He had forgotten how  _well_  it felt. 

There was a rush of adrenaline, then Levi completely let himself go. He cupped the young boy's face and crashed their lips together. At first, Eren responded by simply moving his lips against the other's, but then the kiss deepened. Eren let out a loud gasp, then he flung his arms around the other. Their lips were moving against each other passionately, and Levi wondered if he'd ever get used to it... This taste, this scent, this feeling... Only the wetness of the kiss filled him with butterflies, and when his tongue broke through and danced eith Eren's, his heart started galloping.

Levi had almost forgotten how to move. He took one step at a time, feeling the sexual tension building by every second. He wanted to proceed - he really did.

Being at Levi's front door, the librarian reached for his keys. He pushed Eren against it in the process, continuously giving him wet kisses.

He pushed them in, almost forgetting to shut the door behind him, and started moving his kisses down the boy's neck. Eren was gasping, blushing, his erection building...

Levi threw his shirt off, then proceeded to throw off Eren's. Shirtless and slightly sweaty, Levi reached down and started unbuckling his belt and pulling out his member, then went back to twirling his tongue around in Eren's mouth. They were really gonna do this, weren't they?

The younger reached down to copy Levi, and he appeared nervous. His hands were trembling slightly, Levi noticed. He didn't appear too confident, and Levi wondered once again if he was comfortable at all.

Feeling the paranoia, Levi broke the passionate kiss to look the other in the eyes, the saliva breaking between them and Eren breathing heavily and blushing.

"If you're uncomfortable, just tell me to stop," Levi told him, pausing the entire act for a moment.

"I'm not uncomfortable," Eren assured him. "I've just... Never done this before..." Levi had completely forgotten that Eren was only 15. He himself had done it a couple of times in the past just for the sake of it... Never with a guy, though...

"Alright," he spoke quietly, giving him another kiss and sliding his hands down the young boy's lower waist. "You ready, then?" Instead of waiting for an answer, he kissed him once more, starting to pull his jeans and boxers down.

"More than ever," he replied, and this seemed like the ultimate mating call to Levi. He threw Eren's jeans and boxers onto the floor among all the other clothing, then pushed the boy's legs back, preparing himself... And then finally, he entered. Eren gasped loudly and grasped hold of Levi's shoulders, squeezing them tightly. It made the man pause, looking at the other to see if he was gonna do okay.

Eren let out a couple of small moans, shutting his eyes tightly, as if trying to push away the pain. The man entered just a little bit deeper, and he could see how the boy was struggling to deal with this. It seemed that he was  _really_ making an effort to keep quiet, not to mention that his fingers were as good as dug into Levi's shoulders.

As Levi kept moving, Eren threw his hands around and grabbed one of Levi's couch pillows, starting to moan into it. Levi was pretty sure he was biting it too. The boy's growing erection twitched by every change of movement.

As the movements started going smoother, Levi pulled the student up in a sitting position, something that made the boy drop the pillow and wrap his arms around the older's neck. He moaned softly into Levi's right ear, and locked his legs behind his back.

"You okay?" Levi spoke quietly in his ear, not stopping.

"Ah- yes... I'm fine..." This was more of a moan than anything. There was a moan for every thrust Levi made, and soon enough, they were both sweaty.

Levi was holding him in his loving embrace, wanting nothing more than to ensure him that he was in safe hands. The faster he thrusted, the louder did they get; Eren was moaning and gasping, and Levi was groaning. He was getting close...

Quickly, he wrapped his hand around the boy's stiff member, feeling him twitch, and started moving it up and down. The boy responded with long moans filled with a mix of pleasure and pain, and Levi sped up his entire act. Eren was almost screaming by now, and Levi's mouth was half open, allowing quite a few gasps to escape as well.

"L-... Le-..." Eren gasped, and then his entire body twitched, and the white substance shot onto his stomach. All the noise he was making seemed to halt to a stop. At the same moment, Levi felt himself coming, allowing one last thrust before it was all over.

Eren dropped onto his back again, and Levi dropped on top of him right after. They were sweaty and breathing heavily, Eren blushing like he'd never done before.

They'd really done it.

*****

Eren had gone early to bed for once. You see, the two had been playing a couple of rounds of Mario Kart, and  _Eren won every time_. At first Levi accused him for cheating, but that got on his nerves, you know? Levi figured that the student must have had a lot of practice, which had to be the source of his winning.

So after Eren went to bed, Levi played a couple of solo rounds, trying to get used to the different cups. After all, he couldn't lose to a 15-year old, right?

After three solo rounds, the man grew tired, and decided to call it the night. He entered the bedroom to find Eren fast asleep on his back, feet and arms spread all over the bed and the covers lying half off it.

 _Does he always move around in his sleep?_ Levi wondered. He rolled the boy over on his side, then picked up the covers, tucking him in. Levi didn't have any covers himself, now, but that was fine with him.

He crawled into bed next to - or, behind - Eren, and put his arm over him. This was what they called spooning, wasn't it? He could hear the boy breathing, feel his heart beating... It sounded so peaceful... And Levi knew for sure that this was what he would fall asleep to.

In fact, he had almost fallen asleep shortly after. It was somewhat a half-sleep; he was dreaming, but was fully concious about what was happening around him. In his dream, he sat in the library, class 2A being there, too, studying. It was as if Eren lit up the entire room - Levi only had eyes for him.

It was a nice start of a dream, but that was all it ever was, because suddenly, some voices showed up - some voices that didn't fit in.

 _"Aww, look how happy he makes big bro!"_ This was not just any voice - that was  _definitely_ Isabel...

 _"Keep it down, you're gonna wake them!"_ And that sounded  _just_ like Farlan. The voices were dodgy, but at the same time very clear, and Levi was convinced he had actually heard them. No, he  _had_ heard them. He wasn't dreaming this - the voices were actually coming from the room - he was  _sure_ of it.

He quickly opened his eyes and sat up, scanning the room. Eren and himself were the only people in this room - Levi looked around multiple times expecting to see someone, but there was none.

But of course, Levi was still sure he had heard the voices clearly. He sighed, then looked to the boy sleeping next to him. They had referred to him, hadn't they?

"You're right," he said out loud, and as rare as it was, a smile found its way to his lips. He caressed the boy's hair, and something as little as that, gave him a rush of that one feeling - a feeling he hadn't felt in a long, long time. "He does make me happy."


End file.
